HeRtHeWaNdErEr

2011-01-23T19:42:00.000-08:00

I'm Missing You

Yes. Indeed i really missing her right now.
Days, hours, minutes.. seconds with you make my reason for being much clearer.
The emotions I carry in me when I stare into your eyes fills me
with a river of love flowing through my veins.
The way you touch my soul, leaves me out of breath.
I think of it and my pulse races.
You complete me in all that I'm missing.

With you, I feel life.

I love you so much.

Today gonna stay at home.
Rotting doing nothing i guess. hahs.
Over slept in the morning and yea ,
that.s why i didn't turn up for work today.
Yessa ! tomorrow gonna take my pay.
And and.. gonna save up part of it
so that i could re-new my
bike licence and and...KR beb ! ahahs :)
Let's see who gonna be my first pillion !

I.m so loving this song ! Whoaaa~ :))

2011-01-15T21:42:00.000-08:00

Uhmm , nothing much bout tody. Over slept for work. DARN it !
So didn't turn up for work lorhh. Sunday so boring. Dead bored ! Really !
Going out later to meet gf. Yessa !
Stayed at home pon mendak naq mampos !! Bley mati ! Lag bgos kua jmp kwn..hmpfff.

Anw , nothing much here. So till here. Got to go. Gonna wash up , get dress and meet baby !! :)

Okayy Go !!

2011-01-15T06:38:00.000-08:00

I'm back blogging ! Am currently at home. Surfing the net and watching tv. "The Vampire Diaries". And... Just got home today in the evening.. Was from baby's crib. Stayed there for a few days , 5 days straight:)
Was there since Tuesday. Ouhww , kinda missing baby already ! Ouhh , i fell sick too when i was at baby's place :(.. Down with terrible flu and heavy cough. hmpff..

Tomorrow , feel like going back to work..till friday and again ! thought of doing over time on Friday (8am - 1am).. AMCM !!? Hahs..

I miss my friends too. Been awhile that i last slacked with em'.

Okie then..
Till Here. <3 Shafeena.

2011-01-10T19:41:00.000-08:00

Happy Belated New Year 2011 !

Sorry, for leaving my blog to dust.
Firstly , i forget my e-mail to login the blog -.-"
But finally , after so long. I remembered ! Noob !
Secondly , i admit that i was freaking lazy to blog. hahs !
Thirdly , i'm busy spending most of my time with wifey. So yea. :)) <3

Anyways , It's already a brand new year and should make a brand new start !
Am still waiting for my ite app result. DARN !
EVERYONE has gone to school. Am here , pfft..idk.
Maybe , i should find a job and apply ful-time now since i'm not schooling like other kid does. Maybe i should retake my N'level ? Maybe , i shouldn't do nothing bout it ! Darn it !

Okayy ! Till Here ! Will update more ! Love , Nik Aiman Vacius:) CHEERS !

2010-08-02T19:29:00.000-07:00

'fye-weet !' ahahs ! It ' s about 9 30am. I ' m awake. Can ' t seem to go back to sleep. Haiyaa.. Had oly less than 3 hours of sleeping i guess. On the phone with 'pantat sotong' till 4am plus this morning..
And mampos nik , bill kaw melambongg ha ! Ahahs ! ;D

Hmms.. Don ' t know what to blog. Fb-ing , downloading songs and texting. I ' m bored. Still sleepy , but just couldn ' t shut my eyes to sleep. Darn..

Don ' t know whether going lepak or not. Think gonna be rotting at home. Kay daa , end of my blog journey.

Till Here - imy.

2010-08-01T09:34:00.000-07:00

Not sleepy but it seems like my whole body is aching.. DARN ! :(

So now , some things that i couldn ' t do for few weeks :
~ Can ' t smoke more than what i used to !
~ Can ' t drink soda drinks that much !
~ Can ' t enjoy food that i ' m eating !
~ Can ' t project my voice propely !
~ and lastly !! I CAN ' T PARTYYY ! :'(
Sorry to all of my club buddies k , and powerhouse , i ' ll be missing you laa seyy..

Currently , I ' m feeling great ! Fever is gone(: Not much of watery eyes and running nose. 'Miss Sore throat' , is gone. Great ! But , been replaced by 'Miss Coughing'. Not great ==.

Went woodlands to slack. Nothing much. There was only , mama(fiqahh) , Nur , Maya , An , Fiq ,Shah and..myself. And oh , i got the rhythm for fyefye ' s song right ! Yeyy ! :DD.. When we meet , sing for me ye , fye ? Ahahs ! "fye-weet"

Aiyaa , what else to blog ?? Hmm , idk ehk.. Nothing left to blog about i guess. End of blog journey. Nik must get well pretty pretty soon , okayyy !! :DD. Ily nik ! Muackss ! Ahahs !!

And btw , i miss you , Smexy. Sumpah nik rindu u ! Ahahs !
Small world people ! ;D
When was the last time we met each other eh ? Hmms , kay can ' t remember.. Anw , hope someday , we ' ll meet again. Okayy !? :D

Till Here - ily !

2010-07-28T10:18:00.000-07:00

Currently , wasn ' t feeling that well. Down with a fever :( And darn it , ma nose is currently like a running tap , eyes are all watery , keep on sneezing like nobody ' s business..

Darn ! Hate this feeling !! Very very sukish !

Anyways , went Swimming and celebrated Sakina ' s 19th birthday. An was being so sweet , carrying the birthday cake towards Sakina. Ahahs ! :DD

Okayy , end of my blog journey. Off to bed now. Get well soon nik ! Ahahs ! To mama , thanks for lending abg the sweater. Love you and papa. I miss adekk :(
Currently listening to When it rains by Paramore.

Till Here. - imy.

2010-07-27T18:57:00.001-07:00

Hello people.. I.ve got a very random poem here. Enjoyy ! ;DD

My love is the sun , That lights our way. With it's brilliant rays , That light your darkest days.

My love is the moon , In the still of the night. While the stars are shining so beautiful and so bright. As they flash and simmer , With the twinkle in your eye.

When the daylight comes. My love is your bluest cloud. My love is the rain drops...

Pouring down through the mist , when we're together. It's a wonderful bliss.

I ' m that knight in shining armour.. And my love is my sword. I will protect you from any evil horde.

My love leaves that blow in the wind. As i tell you i love you. Time and time again. A lover and a best friend i am.. And i promise you. My love is yours .
Yours until the day i die.

Till Here.

2010-07-26T01:11:00.000-07:00

I ' m not quite sure bout what to blog here. Actually , i ' ve got some things to share.. Well , i guess i ' m just trying to let it all out. So anyways , here it goes ,,

Dear Whoever ,
I knew that 'you' are gonna get hurt. Badly.. Very. And be hurt by who. I know.. And , Only papa was the first person i told. But i kept quiet and keep it to myself. Cos i don.t wish , 'you' to have negative thoughts about me. So i tried to back off. And the other day when i get to know bout almost everything , what had happened.. I 'm all fucked up.

I was indeed disappointed in 'you'.. For making the wrong decision plus i ' m pissed with her. Cos after what she has done to most girls alright. Wtf ! were you trying to do , babe. Im not trying to side anybody here , im telling you. Am a butch , am a female. So are you , a butch? and , so are they , girls !

But why do you love to get those girls hurt ? Just playing around and not faithful to one ? Whyy ??

I thought we understand them better. ''Born with one heart and it ' s supposed to half it by two. One for yourself and one for your someone special''. Done ! You get it ?

Well , I hope , 'you' will learn from your mistakes. Never to do those shyt again. And i.ve told 'you' before remember ?

Think and not just follow those feelings so much. Do this not for anyone else but for yourself k. Yourself is indeed way much precious than anything else.. Well , i hope 'you' heed my lecture.

'' Face down , she said. This doesn ' t hurt , she said , 'I finally had enough' ,, Do you feel like a man when you push her around ? Do you feel better now , as she falls to the ground ? Well i ' ll tell you my friend , one day this world ' s going to end as your lies crumble down....''

Anyway on a brighter note ,,
Ahahs ! Yesterday , went out to Jurong Point. Mama papa fiq juliet eerah and maya..ouhh , and of course myself ! :DD

I was late again ! Hahh..as always.
Sorry hor !
O yea , and bumped into Az.. Waited for Fiq to arrive.

BlahBlahBlahBlah... Fiq came , so they went to buy their dinner. And i wasn ' t feeling hungry.

Went to the nearest Rc. Chilled there. We started of , quite okay , kecohh. Mid , people started to get quite emotional. Lastly , managed to ease the situation back to normal. Left Rc at around , 9 30pm.

BlahBlahBlah..
Wave to mama and juliet. They ' re taking train (:

Papa eerah maya fiq and myself board the bus. Papa took 172 if not wrong. So the four of us took 187. Maya was the clown of the day. Fiq and i couldn ' t stop laughing at maya ' s jokes..

Reached home at around , 10 plus plus..

Till Here !

And btw , to her. Why Black Rose eh ? Cos Black rose is actually referring to myself :DD

2010-07-24T11:23:00.000-07:00

Definition of love by Nik Aiman( Pt 1 ),,

Hmm , actually idk how to phrase it. Nevermind , will try my best here :D

When you love , adore , admire , respect , care for & appreciate that special somebody in your life. No matter how much people try to discourage you or tell you otherwise of them. Cos ,, they ' re perfect to you. Regardless of their imperfections or past mistakes & experiences. And , actually they mean more to you than anything & you ' ll do anything & everything to make them happy cos the may you happy ! One word : SOULMATE..

Anyways , what ' s up today ??
Ahahs ! And yes , went to watch Kude Kepang at Cck Park with fiq , nur , maya and eerah. Kumpulan Sapto. (:

Was supposed to me fiq and nur at around 2 40pm. But was late ! Sorry :(
Hah , but nasib dorg taq mrh. We walked from lot to Cck Park. Wasn ' t that far as i thought it would be.

When we reached , the atmosphere was.. Idk , speechless i guess. Rindu tngk kude kepang !

Watched the first performance. Which is the ladies group. Rabakk , hardcore sakk. I lykee :D
And break for awhile..

We smoked , chilled..

Continue watching , when the second group gonna perform. Ahahs , the guys group. Okay okay for their performance. And that was when maya and eerah came. ((:

When was at that scence , saw most of my lot 1 friends. Didn.t know that Alim is actually , bdk Sapto. Hahh.. Andd , saw Bo-bo. Shytt.. I didn ' t expect to see my 'braders' there. Andak too was there. Nevemind..

After kude kepang-ing , went down straight to Rc by bus. Met mama and papa there. Then came an and chomel. Slacked and gerek at around 10 plus.

Bus-ed home with Eerah. Okayy , that ' s all for today ' s post.. I miss adek. ))':

Till Here - imy..

2010-07-23T23:07:00.000-07:00

I ' m out to watch Kude Kepang at Cck park with Nur and Fiq !
And after that go straight to rc meet mama. I hope papa pn tron uh. Okayy ! Will update more later tonight ! Got to go ! Cheers :DD

2010-07-23T09:32:00.000-07:00

Blog has been updated. New skin , new post. Amcm okayy taq skin nie ?? Ahahs ! Simple and nice (:

Been thinking of what to blog about. Aiyaa , don ' t know where to begin uhh.

Yesterday , rot at home. And it was COOL ! haha.. Knocked out freaking early. Was feeling damn tired and sleepy cos only get 4 hours of sleep. So yea.

So , woke up at around 10 plus plus in the morn. Showered , breakfast , tv-ing , lyrics-ing , guitar-ing.. Boringggggg !

4/5pm plus went woodlands rc.. Went slacking..duhh ! Nothing much bout it.

O yea ! 23rd : To Juliet and mama. 'Happy 1 month of friendship.'

Cabbed home with Fiq , Chomel and Nur. Mama and papa and the rest , train-ed home i guess. And adek kari , imy )):

'Homed' at 1105. Washed up , fb-ing , and music-ing.. Currently listening to : i live my life for you By Firehouse. My fav song and it ' s meaningful :DD

If i am an angel , i must have wings to be able to fly.
If i am an angel , i must love and dislike.
If i am an angel , i must live and not die.
If i am an angel , i must choose who stays.
If i am an angel , i can guide people along their way.
If i am an angel , i do right and not wrong.
If i am an angel , how do i find my way 'home' ?

Till Here.
Over It - lemohC.

2010-07-22T02:26:00.000-07:00

Went st james , powerhouse last night. Enjoyed ourself like hell.

Went there alone and met my 'brader' , Chucky and Sky Pendek inside. Danish wasn ' t there last night as her gf was not feeling well so she took care of her and stayed at home.

Mimi and her cousin came slightly later. Met wawa , zhy , shanky , yulia and friends.. Omgayy ! 'The Powerhouse is being infested with butches !' Ahahs , dulu kunchu melayu yg slalu naek ph cume ktr 3 , chucky danish nik. Now ?? Haiyaa.. And btw i miss the PL couple , Angel and Siti. Grrrgh ! Hahh..

Drank a little too much , Dance and enjoyed myself.. Woahh !

Me , mimi and cousin left 'ph' at about 3 45am. Took our stuffs from the locker and waited for zhy , wawa and their girlfriends at The Boiler Room. Slacked outside Harbourfront for a while and while was slacking , the musibottt pnye 'anjing' came. Kena screen plak. Haha. Cos there were 15 of us gathering together. It took us almost half an hour cos one the girl who was with us was being questioned by the 'anjing-s'..don ' t know don ' t care. So yea.

Anyway at 5 plus went Seah Im to have our breakfast. Finally ! Here i come my prata telor !! Hahah x)

O , btw wawa ! Mulot kaw yg paling bising among us tao bile mkn. At least aku diam , table manners doh. Mimi , half way mkn touch up make up.. Lol. One table , the kecoh-ness couldn ' t be describe. Sumpah klakar gyle :DD

And after which , me mini cousin zhy and gf took the bus from the interchange. The rest took the Mrt i guess. Zhy and gf took idk what bus. Mimi and cousin took 188. And i board 963 and condemn inside , all the way to bukit panjang. Tired.

Reached home at around 7 30am , go changed washed up and zZzZZ..
Today not going anywhere. Rot at home i guess.

P.s , i.ve a poem..

It.s a little like heaven.
A little like hell.
The things that you feel.
Only you can tell.

The warmth in your eyes.
The smile in your heart.
The tears and the crying.

As soon as you part.
The wanting the needing.
The feeling like hell.
The loving and laughing.
Each sound each smell. Imy.

Till here. Cheers !

2010-07-18T22:41:00.000-07:00

The time now is about 120pm. Woke up today at around 1240 , and thought of posting this up. Idk why.. Had a dream last night. And it was about You. But it was just a dream. I hope the dream i dreamt would come true.

You ' re the air that i need.
The song in my head.
The beat to my heart.
My wish on a star.
My dream come true and ,
I hope that it ' s not too late to say , i love you..

Currently listening to Everybody In Love by JLS.

Till here.

you're my hopes and dreams..

2010-07-18T09:50:00.001-07:00

I.m back to blogging. Nothing much to blog about anyway.

Just came back from Chua Chu Kang , Lot 1. Yesterday , woke up at about 7 in the morning. was feeling so semangat to watch papa and friends playing soccer at cck street soccer court.

Got up. Had ma shower. And..BREEEE~ so cold ! Not used to waking up early in the morning and have ma shower :( Hahs. O , then groomed myself up and off i left the house.

Met Eerah inside the Lrt towards cck. And then , that was when i get to know from Eerah that the Game has been cancelled due to idk some reasons. Anyway , alight at cck , and went straight to the hall at blk 130. Meet up the soccer friends,, mama papa and juliet was already there.

So went slacking instead. Lol !..
After about half an hour or more , we went macdonals to have our breakfast at cck cc. After which went to the pondok at Teck Whye blk 118 to slack there.. At about 2 plus , me papa mama and eerah went to fetch adek !

Cuace today was so suckish and , idk why everyone was so moody , even juliet..idk why. Nah , nvm. Got myself wet , played in the rain and my hair become soOo masai. Haha !

And by the way , like what papa told me , 18th Sunday. 'A very bad bad day.' some things happened in only a day.. Shan.t elaborate further and so we chilled till 8/9 plus..
So went to each other.s ways. Bye byee !! :( imy.

Left me , adek and papa. Slacked awhile at lot to have a cup noodle. And happens that , i met my bdk lepak. Jonathan. Chit chatted for a while and gerak at about 1030 i guess..

Bus-ed to home , bp. Feeling exhausted. Reached home at about 1100 i guess , x.x'

Expressing this feeling about You..

In this world full of hurt and pain.
There's someone who would help you thru the rain , to comfort you when you're sad. Doing everything just to make you glad.

In this world , there.s a brave knight.
Who would never give up any fight. A knight who would dry away your tears and telling you to overcome your fears.

There.s a knight , who loves you for who you are. With that someone , there.s nothing more you need to hide. A person who will still be standing strong , even everything has gone wrong.

That knight who is willing to give you more. Cos i'm that someone , the 'knight in shining armor'. - 'juliet , imy'.

Okay ! Till here , peee-polee !! :DD
Cheers - Aiman.

2010-07-16T09:29:00.001-07:00

Lately , i.ve been busy.. Hence i seldom blog. So yea. Anyway , i.ve just came back from our 'family outing'. Hahs. Went slacking with soccer friends at Woodlands Rc.

Mama(fiqah) , papa(fieza) and adek(kari) is my 2nd family. All of us are ladies. kari and i , is their daughterson. Hahah ! And mama ! i don.t want to have another adek.

Today was me and adek's first wish for our Family.. And yea , we both feels glad that we.ve said out our wishes to mama and papa. I love you both !(: Mama is the sweetest lady i.ve ever met. And papa is indeed a very understanding young woman. And Kari is the best adek i have in this world.. Uncle and Auntie pn best ! :D

**Anyway...
Ever since the first time we talked. All i can do is think about you. I have you in my heart and if you listen closely .. You can hear it beat for you. It beats stronger everyday. When i speak to you..know that i'm sincere with my words. I'll try my best way i can , to show you that i need you bad. Look me in the eye and tell me you understand them. You.ll never the true meaning of my words. I won't repeat myself , and i'll be fluent with my thoughts , like these ones for you and it.s crazy cos it all happened so fast. I'm living in the moment cos I fear what the future might bring. Listen to me so you know i'm real. But don.t just listen and then forget. Know that my words are one of a kind. I.m trying my hardest. I need you to compose on all of the past. Live in the moment with me , so we can start off on a new path. - Juliet you.re not forgotten. Imy.

Till here. Cheers !

2010-04-23T01:42:00.000-07:00

So Much Happiness:

It's difficult to know what to do with so much happiness. With sadness there's something to rub against , a wound to tend with lotion and cloth. When the world falls in around you , you have pieces to pick up , something to hold in your hands , like ticket stubs or change.

But happiness floats.
It doesn't need you to hold itdown. It doesn't need anything. Happiness lands on the roof of the next house , singing , and disappears when it wants to.
You are happy either way. Even that you onced lived in a peaceful tree house and now live over a quarry of noise and dust cannot make you unhappy. Everything has a life of its own , it too could wake up filled with possibilities of coffee cake and ripe peaches , and love even the floor which needs to be swept , the soiled lines and scratched records...

Since there's no place large enough to contain so much happiness , you shrug , you raise your hands , and it flows out of you into everything you touch. You are not responsible. You take no credit , as the night sky takes no credit for the moon , but continues to hold it , and share it ,and in that way , be known.

Cheers !

2010-02-11T08:44:00.000-08:00

If a kiss was a raindrop i'd send u showers.if a hug was a second i'd send u hours.if a
smile was water i'd send u a sea.if love was a person i'd send u me!

Don't Count Me In For Love. I gave Up.

Valentine's Day is just 2 to 3 days to come , yet this heart of mine is been torn again.
I kept asking this question to myself , over and over again but still couldn't answer it.
The question that goes like this , "Why should i tell that person how i feel about her. We confessed it to each other but now everything falls apart. Why ?" Why now then , the feelings towards that someone you like fades ? Why now things aren't in a good term ? Why hadn't we been talking like what we used to ?

Sending her to her door step a Valentine's Gift as she said that she wasn't feeling well today. A love letter and a small heart shaped cookie was what i gave. Nothing much , but i do hope that she appreciate it. Maybe i guess this is the first and will be the last gift i ever gave her. And will not be seeing her again as that is what i think she wanted.
It's quite random having to see "butch" like "butch" that kinda thing. But it doesn't matter.

She's blind. Blind as in , she couldn't see the fact that the person who really adores , love and care about her so much has always been standing right in front her all this while. Trying to be there for her when she needed someone to talk to. But now , her heart change.
say you love me , like you mean it.
I thought , this year's Valentine's Day i could have the chance to celebrate together with her. Fated ; aren't meant to be i guess.

I still remember you saying to me when i was there by your side when you were admitted in the hospital that day...

"Nik , if you have that feelings towards me , just said so. Don't have to hide it away from me. Just give me time to change back into a girl". Tell me , if you're shy to tell me then you better start showing me all the things that you love me. Example , show me you care and that will be enough okay Nik.

In the club , you whispered in my ears..

"U, u jangan gatal gatal tau". (Make sure , you don't flirt around okay ?)
That was when , i started to get serious about you. Wanting to sacrificed myself to wait for you and i'd listen to you cause that's when my feelings grew stronger.

When something happened between you and your ex girlfriend. You wanted to commite suicide at around 4/5 AM plus at Yew tee estate. Trying to jump down from a building at the 13th floor.. Who was the one who grab you at the edge of the railling ? Me. Yes , it was me. Why ? Cause my dear sweetheart , i do love you. So much so , that i couldn't bear to see you ending your life away just like. You mean a lot to me. So much. I just love who you are. You mean the world to me.

And now the story goes like this ,

I fall to my knees. Smashed to the ground. Don't ever try to count on me for love. I gave up. Everything.

(Definition of love ; To live and experience , To learn and grow , and to feel "all" the highs and th low - Nik Aiman Vacious)

2010-01-31T21:15:00.000-08:00

I'm not supposed to love you.
I'm not supposed to care.
I'm not supposed to live my life,
Wishing that you were there.
I'm not supposed to wonder,
Where you are and what you do.
But I'm sorry, I really can't help myself.
Cause I think I'm in love with you.
I do.

Here's a short poem. Expessing myself :DD

I Thought Of You:

I thought of you and how you love this beauty,
And walking up the long beach all alone
I heard the waves breaking in measured thunder
As you and I once heard their monotone.

Around me were the echoing dunes, beyond me
The cold and sparkling silver of the sea,
We two will pass through death and ages lengthen
Before you hear that sound again with me.

Leaving this blog dusty again. I've been really busy this few days cause currently , I've just started working at IR , (Resort World Sentosa) as a casual labour but lately , have been thinking of requesting to be a full-timer worker which means my pay will be around , 1.2 :DD. BOOM !

Friends been trying to persuade me to be free on this coming Saturday. Why ? Going clubbing oviously. Probably at St James -.-
I won't promise you guys anything yet alright ? cause i'm not sure if i'll be working on that day. Hope you guys , understand. Okay ? (;
And...
you guys will be seeing me much lesser in the day too , but might be able to see me slacking around lot after work at night. Somewhere around the smoking area or near the "7-11". So yea. Go find me there !?(:

March Babies ??
Hmm , Zhy , my sister , myself and.... ??
Alright , i don't know anymore.
Mine falls an the 19th.
Zhy's on the 28th.
So , thought of making a birthday surprise for Zhy. She's turning 23 this year :)
Been thinking of celebatring it at a Chalet , the one at Wild Wild Wet(Costa Sand Resort).
Things are now slowly been planned. Wanna make that day to be a memorable one for Zhy :)

Before i forget talking bout birthdays :

29.JANUARY.2010
HAPPY BELATED 17TH BIRTHDAY TO SITI SARINA BTE ABAS !(:

Till here.
Love N!k Vac!ous.

2010-01-06T21:23:00.000-08:00

Look right into my eye and say what exactly you felt inside.
Open your heart to me.
I just wanna try to be close to you.
Everytime , i close my eyes.
It's you i see.

2010-01-05T19:45:00.000-08:00

Alright , back to blogging...

Sorry for not updating my blog. Was actually feeling freaking lazy to do so.haha -.-"
Seeing friends all around me has gone back to school. Darn!I really wanna go back to school mann. Did apply for some courses in ITE , BUT! didn't get into the first course that i wanted. Which is the Fitness. That is why im sill like got nowhere to go. No destination.Haha -.-"

O , yea life ?
Well , im still going cool. I'll find a new job if my previous manager doesn't want me to come back to pizzahut. I'm cool.

Love?
Haha.. Not much comment about it. It has been 2 years plus that i've stayed single. O should i say , it's going to be nearly 3 years now i guess. Yes. Do date around , But still my love is still no open for someone yet. I prefer to stay single at the time being rather than being in a relationship and all those stuff. Not because that i'm not a faithful kinda person. i do but , it's just that this heart is numb. Don't really feel the love inside me. So yea. Sorry. I can't accept anything yet. I hope people out there do understand my situation that i'm in. I'm someone who doesn't like to rush in relationship by the way. So i guess , till here. :DD

Wings To Fly

How can I always lend a hand
But ignore the cries within myself
It brings me joy to bring you a smile
But my emptiness still sits up on the shelf

Inside my heart will always bleed
But I will never let it be shown on my face
Only the tear that falls down my cheek
Will give you a glimpse, a shadow, a trace

I suffocate when I try to breathe
The chains you gave won't let my body go
I have dreams, and needs, and wants
My body is numb, I think maybe you should know

I struggle with my demons each day
You feed them while you slowly watch me die
Please let me be and please set me free
I want to smile as I look up at the sky

I want the moon to brighten the night
I want the clouds to pass me on by
I want the stars to guide me to heaven
And I want wings to life me and fly

2010-01-03T22:51:00.000-08:00

Busy....

2009-12-28T21:17:00.000-08:00

Heyy , sorry for not updating this dusty blog. Hahah! Was lazy -.-
Anyways , this blog have been updated. So yea..happyy??? :D
Today's plan : Not working. Going lepak with my friends. DieDie must lepak... Alright , i think that's all for now. Got to go now..

**Ps. My sweetheart you're missed. Love You!!

Love,
N!k Vacious(:

2009-11-29T04:07:00.000-08:00

It's a song by Bunkface. Title : "Situasi" and with it's chords(:

Am E F G
Diskriminasi menjatuhkan aku
Am E F G
Reputasi kini menjadi bisu
Am E F G
Dan aaaaaaaku, ku layu
C G F G
oooooooooo Disitu
F G
Mengharapkan sesuatu yang baru
F G
Itulah impian aku

C/O
C G
Dan bila kau menghilang
Am
Musnah la, musnah impian
F
Tuk menggapai bintang
G C
Terangi hidup ku
G
Ku mahu kau tahu
Am
Engkaulah, destinasiku
F G
Dalam ingatanku... oh oh oh...

Am E F G
Kerana diri ini tak daya lagi
Am E F G
Menempuh hidup yang ku temui
Am E F G
Dan aaaaaaaku, ku tunggu
C G F G
oooooooooo Disitu

Disitu
F G
Mengharapkan sesuatu yang baru
F G
Itulah impian aku

C/O
C G
Dan bila kau menghilang
Am
Musnah la, musnah impian
F
Tuk menggapai bintang
G C
Terangi hidup ku
G
Ku mahu kau tahu
Am
Engkaulah, destinasiku
F G
Dalam ingatanku... oh oh oh...

2009-11-13T23:28:00.000-08:00

Promise video by Matchbook Romance :)

What would you say if I asked you not to go
To forget everyone, forget everything and start over with me
Would you take my hand and never let me go
Promise me you'll never let me go

And now the stars aren't out tonight, But neither are we to look up at them
Why does hello feel like goodbye? These memories can't replace,
These wishes I wished and dreams I chased. Take this broken heart and make it right

I feel like I lost everything when you're gone. Left remembering what it's like to have you here with me. I thought you should know,
You're not making this easy

I never thought I'd be the one to say
Please don't, well please don't leave me

(Chorus)

You're not making this easy (easy, easy, easy...)

Take my hand and never let me go,
Take my hand and never let me go,
Promise me...
You'll never let go x4
Make this last forever

(Chotus)

You're not making this easy x4

I'll fall asleep tonight, 'cause that brings me closer to you

2009-11-12T02:57:00.000-08:00

Dear Someone ,

You are incredibly stunning , so beautiful and it ' s a pleasure to know you.

To be able to sit next to you and look at you as you talk.
You have perfect eyebrows.
Your skin is a perfect shade of light brown..

Any more idea , anyone ?
Okay , i ' ll go on keh(:

There aren ' t many people so beautiful that i know.
And , i don ' t mean to freak you out. Really.
Don ' t expect anything from you , just thought you might like to know. ((:

See you around pretty pretty soon , Little Hotstuff.
Hope our little friendship will still go on keh :DD

2009-10-28T04:49:00.000-07:00

This is what i see when i look at you..

When i look at you..

I see a smile that lights up the room and laughter that is truly contagious.

I see strength and wisdom beyond anything i have ever known.

I see love ~ pure n true compassion and thoughtfulness.

I see a woman who walks through this world with gentleness and grace.

I admire you for all that you are.

And, for all that you do..

You are everything wonderful in this world.

And, if i had just one wish.....

it would be that you could see what i see when i look at you.

2009-10-24T22:13:00.000-07:00

ON A ROLLERCOASTER RIDE...

Sorry ! Hasn't been doing my blogging. So here i am again ! Was quite busy..well , you guys have been wondering all this while bout what make me so busy right ? Haha.. =.=

I was busy with...searching for a job ! But luck was by my side , and now im already going to work at Pizzahut..with my adorable friend , Eqaa Bacen ! x)

Have been going out a lot this few days. Going for a couple of dates with Bacen. Making new friends.. O , yes. it was sweet :))

And to Elf , be strong sweetheart. There'll surely be a girl hero to save you one day. Maybe maybe maybe , i could be your hero too ?? Hehh.. kidding !! :P

So Anyways..
High school days are over now. Looking positively forward to enter ITE. And...

12Th October , Marks the day , that im done with all my N' level examinations. And also the day left Teck Whye Secondary.

5 years studying there has its sweet and bitter moments. Wooah ! Was like a roller coaster ride , i must say.. Enjoyed every bit of it.

Though I'm not that close with some / most of the classmates and schoolmates that wasn't from my actual school batch.. Which are from , (2008 sec 3s and 2009 sec 4s peers ).. i'll be missing them freaking much. Especially , those conflicts , laughter , tears and much more.

The things we did together. Being rebellious most of the time and got into freaking serious trouble. Those suspensions , detention, etc. But the thing that i'll miss the most is , obviously my Friends and Teachers from 4 Gallucci. Really. Teachers , you guys has taught me a lot. I really appreciate everything.

My friends i hope , we'll still keep in touch.

Love , Kisses , And Misses
N!k Aiman Vac!ous (:

2009-09-22T19:42:00.000-07:00

My Eyes Burn Video By Matchbook Romance :))

2009-09-16T00:16:00.000-07:00

Heee !
Now im somewhere at Lucky Plaza's Hair Salon (Nelia's Salon And Beauty Spa)..

Im with my bestf, Crownie and her cousin, Teng Teng. Hahah. They're doing their hair. Rebonding it. My turn ? Nahh..not now. I wanna keep my hair a lil longer then i'll have my new hairdo , a week before School's prom :)

I'll be keeping my 'sideburn' and, the fringe longer then i will have it trimmed, highlight and rebond.

Haha. Keh.. I got to go now. Will soon update more alright.

Happy fasting to all muslims :DD

2009-09-14T01:54:00.000-07:00

In a world where everything is hard complex,
I discovered something easy...

Falling In Love With You.

With this rose, i not only give you merely a rose
But i gave you my heart and soul
I send to you all the love i have to give
And anything else that would give me the chance to touch your heart..

With this rose, i reveal all my thoughts and feelings about you
That i have withheld for so long..
I feel when i am with you..i am like a rose, not cos of it's beauty
But because i am able to bloom and grow with you.

To me you are like a rose's sunshine
So full of energy and light
That never does it fails to lift my spirits
Just by the sound of your voice and that look in your eye

I could never tear my eyes from you
You are able to make my life worth living
But without you, just like a rose
I would wither and die
Not all at once but little by litte
Petal by petal..

Slowly at first, because you have made me
Stronger and stronger each day you're with me.
But eventually, without you, i will loose all those beautiful petals you have given me..ILY.

2009-09-14T01:08:00.000-07:00

Hola ! (:
Blupp Blupp..
Today, back to school.
Ouh..monday blues.
Did nothing much in school. No study. Just chilled. Skipped Maths lesson which is from 2pm to 3pm. Lol..
Accompany Crownie to Yew Tee Point..blahblahblahh..

O, you can see, that my interest in my studies is fucking low.hahah.. My interest is more in the Arts(music)..

Hmm.. During the 2 weeks breaks, thursday, friday didnt go anywhere, just rot at home.
Rotting at home is cool. Hahah ! :DD.. Nothing much.

Saturday, (12.09.09), was Eiva's 16th Birthday. O, wait !
Her beautiful full name ah,
('Iffah Shafiqah Binte Shaharudin') :))..
All checked ? Spelling correct ? No mistake ? Okay ! Greatt !

*HAPPY 16TH BIRTHDAY IFFAH ! Syg kaw EIVA !! :DD*

So, that day thought of rotting at home again. But mom, planned to go to the 'Bazaar' at Causeway Point, after she came back from work..so why not i accompany her once in a while laa kan :))
My lil' sister followed. We then, bought some food at the bazaar.

Cuci mate sikit. Hee, many many sangat cannot. Scared later my eyes tembel. And not to forget it's still the holy month of Ramadan ! Wahaha..

O, i bought myself one of my favourite food which is the, 'kebab' ! Yum yumm..
Isehhman !.. have been craving for that laa sey :DD.

Oouh..then mom was craving for 'shark fin soup'. Ouu..my favourite too ! So went around the bazaar looking for the stall. And finally spotted one ! :)

When mommy was ordering the soup..i noticed this one,, 'shark fin soup' stall owner, like eyeing at my mom. And the thing is that it was a female. And i knew she's a gay too. But she's already in her 40s, i guess. Ouh, mann.. Bro bro, the one who you were eyeing at, is my mom ! Not my elder sister ! Lol !

Anyway, at the brighter note.. Heheeee..i bumped into my old long lost friend, Amirah. Ouhkk..makin lame, makin jambu laa dier. Didnt get the chance to talk to her. But too bad she's taken. Hahah..

Hmm..after buying the food for break fast, went into Caustway Point's NTUC to get the stuffs to bake cookies.

Blah Blah Blahh.. Nothing much bout it..

Then, we took 963 back home. Break fast together with dad. Burn was outside so didnt break fast with us. Hmph..sedih. Enjoy enjoy pat luar jek. Tak ajak ! Lol.

Keh..that's all !
Ouh, today during Physics lesson..Mdm Sumarni taught me a new language. It's German by the way..
....'Ich Liebe Du !'
(translation, 'I Love You !') :DD
**Yea, i do.

When You Hold My Hands, I'm Free. When You Kissed My Cheek, I Melted..

2009-09-09T01:29:00.000-07:00

Hi guys !
So sweet of you to drop by my blog..heheh !

Anyways..
Here's a damn fucking longgg post for today's and yesterday's..

Ouh, still busy with school. Sec 4s Na students ! Endure endure.. Less than 2 months to go then we're free ! 12th Oct ! :))

Today, Crownie and i went to meet up with Eiva :))
Malay, Social studies and English paper's done !
*clap hands*.
Now 2 weeks break from exams. Yayy !! Hahah.

So yesterday..
Met Eqaa and Zaff to break our fast at Bpp ljs.
Then we slacked outside bpp for awhile before Eqaa and i went for tuition.

So here's the part that happened and it's freaking me out mann...was my first time facing this kind of situation..so it went something like this.

While we was slacking and chit chatting, there was this dude in his 20s, i guess. Err..has the looks and speaks english fluently. But a no no for me.. Went over to us and started to asked us some questions. Quite personel ques by the way..
The 3 of us started to freaked out when he asked what's our age..

That dude : "you guys mind me asking something ? Are you guys gays ? Like you guys, like girl and girls...."
Everyone kept quiet and zaff was like saying something..

And i(Nik), was like : "err..yea sure. Err..they're not actually. But, i am. Im bisexual. Why ?"
That dude : "can i ask how old you guys are ? "

Nik : *whisper and looking somewhere else* " err...18 ?"
That dude : "Ouh, dont worry, im not HSA or something." *laughs*

Everyone kept quiet again..so i went..

Nik : "they're both 16 actually. And im 17. Why ?"
That dude : "just asking..err, cos' i've got a friend who's a girl.."..blahblahh dont know what he was saying.
Then i went "Ouhh..."
That dude : okay, i'll be right back alright..

So, we didnt expect him to come back but he did. And he came back with another can of beer again..

That dude to me: "heyy, so just now you're saying that you're a bi/gay ? You like guys too ? "
Nik : "yeaa..ouhh nope, i prefer girls for now. why ?"

That dude : "just asking. It's a question. So that's who you are ? *smiles*
Nik :*fake smile* "yea" -.-
That dude : "What's your name ?"
Nik : "Nik."
That dude : "ouh, Nik. I'm Bryan"

Nik :"ouh..Okay."
That dude : "are you planning to turn straight or something ? Cos, im actually searching for gay girls. Who are malays by the way. I like gay girls."

Nik : "ouh, i see. Cool."
Then it went silent..
That dude : "so you're not planning to turn straight ?"

Nik : "yea..nope, im not".
Then me again, asking him..
Nik : "are you drunk or something" *fake laugh*
That dude : "nope actually."

Nik : "ouh.." *lol* .__."
That dude : "actually, i get my balls big when i drink beer".
Nik : *freaking out* (i went, errr..rightt)..
That dude : "thanks by the way".
Nik : "yeaa..welcome ???" -.- *lol*
End of conversation....

But, heyy bryan, we can still be friends right ? I guess ? Lol.

**Kehh..so this is for those who's still trying hard to figure out whether im a girl or boy alright ? im borned as a girl.. It's both yea..

And to that girl whom, i know you as "Ros". Im Gay. But im already physically and mentally a man inside.. After what had happened to me in the past. 3 years ago when i was 14. It was a nightmare.

If you're reading this girl, i am Sorry.. Really am. You know who you are. It was me, the one who gave that stuffed teddy during Valentine's Day.

Just wanna get to know you. That's all. Yes, i've got a crush on you but i like you as friends.. Can we be friends Little Red Rose ? *pray hard*

2009-09-07T00:15:00.000-07:00

Wee hee !! Yesterday, was Sunday. Lol, like duh ! Obviously mann ! -.-"
Anyways..so it was a fantastic day, cause i'd spent time with Eiva and cameover to her grandma's crib to breakfast and to chill there for awhile. Woo, cool. Hahah !

First, Eiva texted me asking wheather i could accompany her to Jurong. And i said, i dont really mind cause after all, i was damn fucking bored at home. Trying to compose a song but no inspiration at that time. Lol..lol..

Put on my black Radiohead tee and just grab my cap along cause i was lazy to straighten my hair. Huhuu..off i went to meet Eiva at the Yew Tee Mrt Station.

Was 15 minutes late. Sorry horr Eiva :DD..

Then board the train to Jurong..
After we've reached, i've got no freaking idea where she wanna go. So, kiter make a one freaking big round from the the traffic light to the Cash Converter shop to the NTUC and back to the traffic light just to find the shop that sell backery backery stuff. But none ! haiyaa..Mcm budak sesat pusing satu round ! Uat tawaf ! -.-"

So, we made our way to Clementi instead.. -.O"
And this time, we made another "tawaf"..just to find the block that we're heading to..
Arrgh..i felt like strangling Eiva !!

Could'nt take it anymore and when i took a look at muke Eiva, dh mcm idk-what-to-say.. Pity her.

So, i went to ask this Ah pekk who is selling shoes uh..bout, where is "this block this block"..

He said, needa cross over to the other side. Hmph..
Okay thanks bro !! :DD

Went over to the other side. And finally found the shop. Thank goodness !
Bought, the stuff to bake cookies. And Eiva said that was her first time entering such places. Lol !.. -.-" tu lah, sape srh taq naq ikot your mom go to those places..

Anyways, after getting her stuff. Went to NTUC to buy CornFlacks.
Then, Eiva asked me to just over to her grandma's crib to breakfast there together, there was her aunts and cousins too so we took bus number 105 to her grandma's crib. Cool.. Was somewhere at Jurong. Shared earpiece while in the bus. Music in our ears. Boring dehh.. Hahah.

Reached liao..
But, i was shy uhh to step into the house.. Pemaluu mahhh..
Then when i started to introduce myself to her grandma..i didnt know that she could speak english. omgayy ! Eiva your nenek rocks ! Hah !

Waited for buke.
We dh lapar gyle..first time saw Eiva helping out the housework. Teehee, xD..
Then, her aunts came. And omg, omg ! both her little cousins was so adorable and almakk, mcm naq picit pipi dorg mann..
Hahah !

Buke liao..
All makan !! The atmosphere was sungguh kacoh gyle. Eiva said standard.. And O, nenekk !! Your cooking best ! Really, it was delicious and will always be. (:

Then..slacked. One of Eiva's Aunt bought a birthday cake. Didnt know that they're gonna celebrate Eiva's 16th birthday in advance.

Photo taking..
I was in too..
Happyy :DD

Kecoh-ness started again.
Cream all over each other's faces. I could'nt stop laughing at their kecoh-ness..

Chill..chill.
Then we went down to the void deck and chilled again..
Eiva maen swing pat playground like small kid. Haha. And i was lying at the ground trying to count the stars, but there was none.

Then it's time for me to go home.
Say bye bye to Eiva.
Getting late already..
Reached home at about 11.30pm. Feeling damn exhausted..went to bed at around 1am plus..the end.

Today was my first N level MT paper. Cool. Was quite easy. Nothing much. BlahBlahBlahh..

Tomorrow, MT listening compre. Greatt.. Kehh, got to go now. Wanna dig my ear for tomorrow's paper ! Hahah ! Was just kiddinggg alright !

Bye bye ! Missing someone.
With much love..Vacious ((:

2009-09-04T01:20:00.000-07:00

Picture above there is me.
Lol.. Pssst, im trying to hide something ! :))

Hello Hello Hello !
Bored plus tired..
School was great, i guess.
Tonight there's English tuition.
Great ! :DD

N level examination is next week.
Fuck !!
But luckyyy.. First paper is gonna be MT. Pheww..

Kehh.. Nothing much to blog about. Got to go !

Darling, dont lie to me, dont lie to me now
Now im erasing you
Throwing those memories out
Out to something new
Im throwing those memories

Darling
Dont lie to me
Darling
Dont lie to me
Darling
Dont lie to me
Darling dont !

Breathe in slowly now
Darling dont lie to me -2x

Inhale truth i plead
For your my only hope
Dont lie, dont leave

Mind set on failure
The road you chose
Told me you loved me
Tell me no !

Take your time im only dying
Patiently i kneel here dying
Curse the blind your curse the blind
Deep inside is where it lies

Dont mind me im only dying -3x
(what got me into this mess that devoured me)
Dont mind me im only dying
(lies and deceitful actions keep promising)
what got me into this mess that devoured me
lies and deceitful actions keep promising
what got me into this mess that devoured me
Darling dont lie
what got me into this mess that devoured me
Darling dont lie
lies and deceitful actions keep promising

Darling dont lie !.. ( Darling lyrics by Eyes Set To Kill )

2009-09-02T02:04:00.001-07:00

I've a song. Composed by me. Credits to Eric Morthan. This song is about,, wanting to be with someone. This heart has been yearning for her..

Titled : Hold Me Tight, Don't Let Go. It went like this. Enjoy..

(verse 1)
I see your face
See your eyes
I see you smiling at me.. (at me)

(verse 2)
All the words
Deep inside my heart
Is screaming.. (screaming)

(Chorus)
I want you to know
That i still love you, i miss you
I want you to know
That i still want you, i need you..
(i miss you..)

(verse 3)
All my life, i've been waiting
For someone like you
To fall for me.. (for me)

(verse 4)
So please, give it a chance
Take my heart
My soul, my life
And hold it tight..

(Chorus part)...

(bridge)
Hold me tight,
Don't let go..(don't let go)
Hold me tight,
Don't let go..don't let go...

(Chorus)
I want you to know
That i still love you, i miss you.. (-2x)

I want you to know
That i still want you, i need you
I want you to know
That i still love you, i miss you !!..

The End ((:

2009-08-27T23:14:00.000-07:00

Oughh ! Im...hungry plus tired plus bored plus super super stressed up with my N' prelims. Havent been blogging, busy..that's why. Hmphh..

N' level is coming. 7th September ! Omgayy !! Hahah. Needa force myself to study. No more slacking dude ! Needa do some studying mann.. Solid study !

School's Prom is on the 20th Nov. Still long. I know..
I have so many plans to it. If dont believe, go ahead and ask my best friend, crownieee dumb dumb ! Betol taq crownie ? :)

From the gifts to the surprises and the mini prom gig..

*Remember the other time i texted you, asking would you be my prom date ? Still havent receive any answer.. :(

*Remember the other time i asked you what's your favourite Color and Number ? And sweet, you said, Red is your Favourite color and 3 is your favourite number.. I've surprises to it actually.

On that day actually, I wanna make that only night, the sweetest memories in my life..just one night. But could i ?

I've planned this a year ago. Haha,, and i know who's my prom date, gonna be. But im not sure if she wanna go for that prom. Sweett..kemane kamu menghilang ?? Your blog also doesnt exist anymore. Where're you ?

I understand if she's busy with school. Me too..very. Havent seen her around that much this days. Kindda missing her hell loads.

To My bandmates, Antz, Jay, Dil..i miss you guys too. After our N', Jay and i gonna be back jamming with yall alright ! Keep on rocking nenepokkkkk !

To My dear friend, i bet you know who you are.. There's no need for me to post your name here.. Hey dear friend, it's alright if you wanna piss me. Yeah, im pissed but Im not gonna fall. Im not gonna be mad but im telling you, im gonna get even before you do. Piss me all the fucking lots you want. Go ahead i dont fucking care bout it. Im sure, you're fucking mature enough to know what's right and what's not, am i right ? You have feelings, so do i. Think bout this. See you around.

Kehh.. Got to go. Sleepy. Waiting for buke. Mommy, im hungry !! :D

2009-08-19T21:26:00.000-07:00

Woahhh!! This band was introduced to me by Eiva (:
And she send me this song to my phone. I love their songs, especially : "Into Your Arms"

There was a new girl in town
She had it all figured out (had it all figured out)
And I'll state something rash
She had the most amazing......Smile

I bet you didn't expect that
But she made me change my ways (made me change my ways)
With eyes like sunsets, baby
And legs that went on for days

I'm fallin' in love
But it's fallin' apart
I need to find my way back to the start
When we were in love
Things were better then they are
Let me back into...
Into your arms
Into your arms

She made her way to the bar
I tried to talk to her
But she seemed so far (seemed so far)
Out of my league
[ Find more Lyrics on www.mp3lyrics.org/rWbQ ]
I had to find a way to get her next to me

I'm fallin' in love
But it's fallin' apart
I need to find my way back to the start
When we were in love
Things were better then they are
Let me back into...
Into your arms
Into your arms

Oh she's slippin' away
I always freeze when I'm thinking of words to say
all the things she does
Make it seem like love
If it's just a game (just a game)
Then I like the way that we play

I'm fallin' in love
But it's fallin' apart
I need to find my way back to the start [x2]

When we were in love
Things were better then they are
Let me back into...
Into your arms
Into your arms

Into your arms
Into your arms...

2009-08-07T20:58:00.001-07:00

Yo people !! Haha, here to upload some pictures of my medal. Haha..

Haha..i felt bored in class that day.. So i drew these flowers. A rose and a tulip. The drawing shows a "story" actually. The rose represents a beautiful young girl. The tulip represents me, myself. And as you can see..there are some waterdroplets on the tulip itself. It shows that the tulip is feeling very sad, crying..hurt. Haha. Anyways, here are the photos !..

This year's 2009 annual crosscountry. Get in the top 20. Was in the 14th place. Pammy..was in the 12th place. Hmph ! Not fair ! Hahah :DD

Last year's crosscountry medal. Same as this year..top 20. But in the 16th place. See the difference ?? ^^

Both medals. So proud. Btw, i think i should take a pic and show you guys, one of my medal that i won 1st place for my Primary school's sportsday run. Hahah ! :DD

That's me. With the medals. Haha, so NOOB mann ! Okie, enough..

Today, not going skating. But going out with ayumi, smurf, nana, shekyn, susan and eqaa to watch Kude Kepang. Lol.. Then meeting up with Sarena at around 6pm to pass her something.

Keh that's all ! Bubyiee~~ !!

2009-08-06T21:46:00.000-07:00

That picture above ??.. That's me.. Was taken a few months ago. Noob !

Hahah ! WhoOoO ! Today was an awesome day !
There was National Day celebration and crosscountry at school.

Did take part for the run. Get in the top 20 place. 14th place mann ! Woo !

Last year, i did won. But in the 16th place. Hahah. Best !

After that, waited for my lil sister at Cck Mac. Then waited for mom, for..i dont know how long. Mom planning to buy a pair of new glasses. Saw Sol, Ida and Hajar. Chill for a while with em'..

Well, by the way..my specs are badly broken into pieces. Now i cant really see that clear uhh. :(
Dont know what kind of specs that i wanna get. Hahah..

Tomorrow and sunday, maybe going out, to skate with chuckie and company. Hahah..

My neck hurts a lot laa ! I think, i sprainged my neck. Yesterday, during Pe, we played Rugby. Touch Rugby by the way..
Azhar, one of my team mates..bang on me. Tercampak sakk..and i layed on the ground for a while. Cant move my fucking neck cos' it's hurts !

At home, after tuition while watching tv, i told mom bout what happened in school. Then she massaged for me. Awww.. I manje manje with mommy :)
But manje manje with someone special lagek better. But sape seyy ? Hmmm :(

By the way, last night i watched this film. Titled, this is my home. You guys should watch it. It was a beautiful show. Awww..that show really remainds me of someone too. Especially, the two main characters. Haha..

Wanna get a specs...something like that picture above. That was Amir's. Feeling feeling only laa. Haha..

Keh laa.. Got to go. Byee~~ ! :)
I miss someone ! I miss someone ! I miss someone !

2009-08-04T20:22:00.000-07:00

I Can Wait Forever - Simple Plan

You look so beautiful today
When you`re sitting there it`s hard for me to look away
So I try to find the words that I could say
I know distance doesn`t matter but you feel so far away
And I can`t lie, every time I leave my heart turns gray
And I wanna come back home to see your face
And I?Cuz I just can`t take it

Another day without you with me
Is like a blade that cuts right through me
And I can wait?I can wait forever
When you call my heart stops beating
When you`re gone, it won`t stop bleeding
I can wait?I can wait forever

You look so beautiful today
It`s like every time I turn around, I see your face
The thing I miss the most is, waking up next to you
When I look into your eyes, man I wish that I could stay
And I can`t lie, every time I leave my heart turns gray
And I wanna come back home to see your face
And I?Cuz I just can`t take it
Another day without you with me
Is like a blade that cuts right through me
And I can wait?I can wait forever [I can wait forever]
When you call my heart stops beating
When you`re gone it wont stop bleeding
I can wait?I can wait,I can wait forever[I can wait, I can wait]

I know it feels like forever
I guess it`s just the price I gotta pay
When I come back home
To feel your touch, Makes it better
Until that day there`s nothing else I can do
And I just can`t take it!

Another day without you with me
Is like a blade that cuts right through me
And I can wait?I can wait,I can wait forever
When you call my heart stops beating
When you`re gone it won`t stop bleeding
I can wait?I can wait,I can wait forever

2009-08-03T02:50:00.000-07:00

See That Girl above ??
Isn't She HOT ????^^ Haha !

Okie, that's all for now.
I'm still busy with school.
Relationship ? Nahhh~. :(

Contact me at, 1800-ILY-NIK ! :DD

KuchyKuchy !! GuluGuluuuu !! Keh Bye~~ !

2009-07-09T07:21:00.001-07:00

Alright.. I havent been blogging. Was busy with school. Everyday, there's time practice. Fuck ! Had to stay in school till 6pm, the most.

Been really busy with my N' lvl art course work.

BlahBlahBlah...

Monday, was youth day.. So, my girlfriends asked me out. Naddy, Wanie and Ayumie. Went to catch a movie. Watched, transformers. Cool..

Then..after the movie, we chilled at esplanade. Nothing much uh. Can say, i felt bored. I thought Sarena, going out too on that day and thought of asking her out. Tpy.... Hahah !

Anyways.. Some cool pics,,

2009-07-02T23:38:00.000-07:00

One day when you feel alone
Remember im at the end of a phone
I love you loads
And that must show
I want to let all the world to know
I have a friend, that is you
I love you for all you do
Your face so sweet and your heart so gentle
Keeping me together when im going mentle
Telling me you love me and that you hold me tight
Being there for me even in the night
Thank you friend you mean a lot to me
Maybe now you'll see
How much you mean to me..
... ........... ... ........... ...

Keh, im still in school. Having TT. LOL. Bored !! O, btw..i just watched Still Youngz and Switched Out videos shown by Crowniee. And they're both not that bad. Now im starting to like both of these bands.. Keep On Rocking ! \m/

2009-07-02T17:27:00.000-07:00

You dont know how bad i wanna tell you
It gets harder everyday
I just wanna tell you, i love you
And make the pain go away.

I think of how we used to be
Thoughts start filling my head
I just want you to see everything i see
Every night before i go to bed.

It's been awhile since i've seen you
My heart is filling the pain
All this love i wish you knew
Inside is driving me insane.

I wish you knew there could be us
I wish you knew how i cry
I wish you knew that's its more than lust
That makes me wanna die.

All these things i'll keep hidden
Even though they scream to be free
This love i have is forbidden
I just wish wish that you could see.

2009-06-30T05:09:00.005-07:00

Alright.. There's something with my phone right now and i can't sort my post properly. Today's post jdy "yesterday's" post. Haha. Well, it's okay.

Hmm..anyways, today's 30th June. And it marks the end of.... the month of JUNE 2009! and looking forward to July ! Yay ! We're already half way through 2009 ! Half a year has gone. Great ! :DD

Okay, today was great. In school, from Morning to the end..keep on surfing the net.

Wondering how on earth did i managed to surf the net while was in school ?
Hahah..i use my phone laa deyy. Aiyoo -.-".. I've tried to connect to TWSS WLAN before..failed but this time, yesss ! Dpt connect ! Haha.

So..i post something while in school, and it was during physics lesson. Chat with this girl,(Alyy Chaos)Alycia Tan, that's her full name..through out the lesson.

Well, i get to know her through..hmm, i dont know how. But i know, i did bloghop and thank goodness, i found Alyy's blog (:
Haha, i tagged her. And then after a few tags, she asked for my Msn cos she said it's 'sekse' to chat thru our tagbox. Lol ! So, i online.. Funny seyy.

Chat bout some stuff. Then, she told me bout her friend, F and Crowniee. O, i dont know who's F is. But i saw his pictures at Crowniee's blog. Lol.. Alyy's a sweet girl. Thirteen btw. But looks mature. Mixed of chinese and malay.

Anyway.. Mm, surf the net. Didnt pay much attention in class. Got distracted by friends around. Hahah !

Break at 1.30 to 2pm. Then it was CME, BORINGGG !!
2 to 3pm : English. BORINGGG !
Then, TT(time practice), Chemistry. From, 3 to 4pm. Wahh, suddenly..jdy serious cos was having a test, i guess. Haha !

After chem, needa stay back for a while to finish up my English homework that need to be handed up before allowed to go home. Noob ! -.-"

Went home with Izen. And the End :) bye !

2009-06-29T03:40:00.001-07:00

Today.. Hmm, let's see..
Was late for school. Thought of going to school with Sarena. But, she was already there and was waiting for me at the bus stop. And i was still in the lrt, on my way there.
Poor, sarena. She went to school first cos was afraid that she would be late.
So,, i went to school alone. And i dont mind it cos i dont want her to be late too. Sorry sarena. Haha.
Morning assembly didnt start as per normal. Cos of the H1N1 virus thingy. Students are suppossed to have their temperature taken before they were allowed to enter the school. NOOB ! -.-"
And, im fine :) So, went straight to class. Our new form teacher is..Ms Bianca Ang, my art teacher. Omg ! Why her seyy ?? But she's okay.
Crowniee, kept looking at ms ang's high heel. Lol. I guess, she's jealous with ms ang's shoes. Wahaha !
School, was as per normal. Had PE. And ! Almost all of my classmates didnt change into their PE attire. wtf !?? Only, some guys and myself changed into our PE attire. Pathetic ! Tomorrow, there's gonna be PE again cos starting from tomorrow, we gonna follow the new time table. Woahh ! Best !

Recess..okay okay. Hung out with Crowniee. Always. And, O..supp !! Crowniee bobal nan Ant cm dh kenal lame gytu laa seyy. Wahahah !

BlahBlahBlahBlahBlah..

Had, TT then short break. Crowniee and i went out of school for awhile AND something...Disgusting + Funny, happened. Sssh..nik prangai sial ! Maki diri sendiri. Wahaha !
Back to class. Had Chemistry til 3pm. Headed to block 3, with Crowniee and Izen to slack for awhile. And btw to Izen, im sorry about what happened to your relationship. But be strong alright sweet :)
Headed back home. Bed's calling for me !!

2009-06-29T03:40:00.000-07:00

2009-06-27T03:33:00.000-07:00

Hahaha !! Was at Hidayu
's place...

Never say "I Love You"
If you dont really care.

Never talk about feelings
if they arent really there.

Never hold my hand
if your gonna break my heart.

Never say you're going to...
if you dont plan to start.

Never look into my eyes
if all you do is lie.

Never say hi
if you really mean goodbye.

If you really mean forever
then say you will try.

Never say forever
cause forever makes me cry.

2009-06-23T02:06:00.000-07:00

Yesss !! Finally, im back to blogging :)
Yesterday, was super fun. Had Art class. Nad, Susan, Faiz, and myself came late. An hour late ! Then after art, we headed to lot 1 to meet Eqaa before going to Faiz's place to chill out.. Upon reaching Faiz's place...we all slacked, uat mcm rumah sendiri gitu. hahah ! I was bullied by Eqaa, Faiz and susan. boo hoo hoo :(.

SlackedSlackedSlacked... nothing much uhh.

Today, we had art class again. stll the same nothing much... BlahBlahBlahhh..
Bored ah. At 6 something, met Smurf. Hahaha ! we went for jogging. phewww, penattt glerr !! Tomorrow, no class. Yes ! Best ahh !! So,, gonna slacked with Ayumi and Faiz at our block. Smurf, lives near my block so i guess we gonna slack somewhere at Bp. Thursday, back to normal. Art class. Boringggg !!! -.-"

Okay, that's all. Some photos taken at our art class. Betol betol nyer moron ! Wahaha ! By the way to Eqaa : "Bile mao LINK N!k ahh ??" huhuuu.

2009-06-23T01:58:00.000-07:00

2009-06-11T04:51:00.000-07:00

Here, cracked a short poem to end the day...

Eyes to mouth,
there's a bullet trickling slow.
Heart to brain,
Frozen like snow.

Pleasure to end all pleasures,
take me from this hold.

Pain has nowhere left to flow,
Overwhelmed.
Rain has nowhere left to fall,
Flooded.
Blades have nowhere left to cut,
Wounded.

Left in the middle of the sea,
I will reach an island.
Entangled in a cloud of gray,
I will reach the sun.
Directed towards places unknown,
I will find my way.

And let the stars not be my guide,
for they fall just like I.
And let the moon not show my path,
escape from heaven's wrath...

I can't.

2009-06-11T04:06:00.000-07:00

Here.. Not to blog things bout today alright..
Cos.. This is actually, SPECIALLY and only for fly,(a coward who hit Crowniee's tag). Yeah, you know who you are alright !

Heyy, what's up Fly !?? How have you been buddy ? Yeahh rightt..buddy. *spit*,*Not even fit to be my asshole buddy !*

O, anyways.. Are you still alive or already dead cos i thought grandma complained to me that she smacked a fly off with a broom this morning ??

You're still alive ? O, great. That's just fucking great mann.

Heyy..is there an unfinish business between you and Vac!ous ? Is there !?? Or just trying to create one ? O, greatt..im patiently waiting here.
Im not being sarcastic, im telling you.

And o, if there isnt any.. Shut the FUCK up ! You're not fit to be a human. Not even an ANIMAL, i supposed.. And dont you have a life, going around hitting other's tag with those words of yours ??

Dont wait til i, figured it out..who the fuck are you, alright. Cos when..once i know who are you, fly..dont forget to say goodbye to your lovely /handsome face yeah.

Just cant wait to see your face fall into pieces. I mean it. Really do. Goodbye, MOTHER FUCKER !..

Love, N!k A!man Vac!ous.

2009-06-10T03:48:00.000-07:00

*cant remember when's the last time i dressed up in my punk rock outfit. O, this pic was taken before going to Jb that day. Hah ! Mcm nk gy gig kn ?? -.-"*

Hello ! Here i am again to blog. Hahah !
Nothing much bout my life, school, friends and.. Um, relationship ?? WoahhWoahh.. Totally out of topic uh. Huhuu..

Keep breathing air into my lungs
Keep pressing my heart into beating
I love you
I hate me

The raindrops seals the truth
Drips like the blood
Of the freshly cut
Wounds of your trust

Anyways..
There was English, Maths and Art class.. Went for english but didnt go for Maths. After English at 10pm, went out of school with Izen.. Then meet up with Crowniee and Fafa. Hung out with them at..i dont know which block. Huhuu.. Slacked and chilled.

And o, something, bad happened to Crowniee yesterday evening..

Well actually, her mom caught her in possession of cigarettes ! And today, she told me that her mom is gonna bring her to the polyclinic to have her breath checked.. Cos to know wheather she's smoking or not. Im just pity for her..hope everything's okay sweet (:

O, then bought some food at tecky market. Everyon was starving. Kesian kebuloh laa korg. We slacked..slacked..slacked. Took pics. Behaving like apes. Hahah !
And, at around 12.30pm plus plus..went back to school for my Art class. The rest went home.

Art : as usual.. Nothing much about it uh. Ends at 4pm.. Nad, Craig, Afiq, AhJay and i went to block 3 to chill for a while before heading back home.
That's all. The End for today stuff.

Yesterday, i had science tuition. And finally, i get to meet Eqaa. Miss her. Hahah !

She didnt know that,, i planned to wait for her at Bangkit LRT station first. Like so called, gonna make it like a suprise. Hahah ! Forced myself to get up from my afternoon nap and then, left the house early then usual.
BlahBlahBlah...
Before heading to class, went to buy some drinks. Then we bumped into Pam. Haha.
"Pssst; Pam, you said, Eqaa like very decent ah ? Kepale otts ah ! She monster laa seyy. Huuu.."

Anyways,..
During tuition, out of..um i dont know, total how many students..there was only four student attended the class..

There was only, Eqaa.. Harith, one guy(dont know name) and of course, N!k. Hahah ! Then Mr Martin, couldnt make it on that day, so there was this female teacher who came in to conduct the class.
BORINGGGGGG !!

For that less then, an hour 15 minutes..um, we did some of the handouts that was given to us. Then after that, there was a short break.. But Eqaa and i took almost like half an hour, for the break. Hahah ! Went up back to class..did our own stuff that's including, Eqaa pinched and bite me ! It was so freaking painful laa sial.. The bites especially -.-"
She just love pinching and biting me so much. I just dont know why. She's my "cookie monster", i guess. *Crapp !!* -.O"

O, what she bite was my biceps..not anywhere else okayy.. We're "angles" horr. Hee...

O, some photos of the blue blacks that are, all over my arms..

*purposely, bit on my scar. wahduh ! Rabakk..*

2009-06-10T03:04:00.000-07:00

Hello ! Here i am again to blog bout stuffs.. Hahah !

Nothing much bout my life, school, friends and.. Um, relationship ?? WoahhWoahh.. Totally out of topic uh. Huhuu..

Anyways..
There was English, Maths and Art class.. Went for english but didnt go for Maths. After English at 10pm, went out of school with Izen.. Then meet up with Crowniee and Fafa. Hung out with them at..i dont know which block. Huhuu.. Slacked and chill.

And o, something, bad happened to Crowniee yesterday evening..

Well actually, her mom caught her in possession of cigarettes ! And today, she told me that her mom is gonna bring her to the polyclinic to have her breath checked.. Cos to know wheather she's smoking or not. Im just pity for her..hope everything's okay sweet (:

O, then bought some food at tecky market. Everyon was starving. Kesian kebuloh laa korg. We slacked..slacked..slacked. Took pics. Behaving like apes. Hahah !
And, at around 12.30pm plus plus..went back to school for my Art class. The rest went home.

Art : as usual.. Nothing much about it uh. Ends at 4pm.. Nad, Craig, Afiq, AhJay and i went to block 3 to chill for a while before heading back home.
That's all. The End for today stuff.

Yesterday, i had science tuition. And finally, i get to meet Eqaa. Miss her. Hahah !

She didnt know that,, i planned to wait for her at Bangkit LRT station first. Like so called, gonna make it a suprise. Hahah ! Forced myself to get up from my afternoon nap and then, left the house early then usual.
BlahBlahBlah...
Before heading to class, went to buy some drinks. Then we bumped into Pam. Haha.
"Pssst; Pam, you said, Eqaa like very decent ah ? Kepale otts ah ! She monster laa seyy. Huuu.."

Anyways,..
During tuition, out of..um i dont know, total how many students..there was only four student attended the class..

There was only, Eqaa.. Harith, one guy(dont know name) and of course, N!k. Hahah ! Then Mr Martin, couldnt make it on that day, so there was this female teacher who came in to conduct the class.
BORINGGGGGG !!

For that less then, an hour 15 minutes..um, we did some of the handouts that was given to us. Then afterwards, there was a short break.. But Eqaa and i took almost like half an hour, for the break. Hahah ! Went up back to class..did our own stuff that's including, Eqaa pinched and bite me ! It was so freaking painful laa sial.. The bites especially -.-"
She just love pinching and biting me so much. I just dont know why. She's my "cookie monster", i guess. *Crapp !!* -.O"

O, what she bite was my biceps..not anywhere else okayy.. We're "angles" horr. Hee...

O, some photos of the blue blacks that are, all over my arms..

*purposely, bit on my scar. wahduh ! Rabakk..*

2009-06-09T00:58:00.000-07:00

*Out with "darlings" on my birthday, March 19th*

I wish i could tell you how much i care
But all i can do is sit and stare.

I dont know how to explain this pain
It's driving me crazy
Not being able to let it out
I think i'll go insane !

You are special to me
In so many diffrent ways
I dont know exactly
What sets you apart from the rest
But you've stolen my heart
Straight from my chest

It was locked with a key
Opened only by me
Cos i didnt want to let anyone else in
But i opened it to you and let you in
And again, over my mind my heart wins..

A feeling this strong cant be ignored
My heart has been whispering....
Have you heard ?
*(imissyousomuch.)

2009-06-08T03:16:00.002-07:00

Missing someone makes me feel empty
And everynight, i dream of her.
I can see her smiling at me.
And that makes me feel warm. But it was just a dream.
I wish that dream i dreamt of..will never come to an end.. I miss you.

Alright.. Erm, there's nothing much to blog about anyways..
Feeling damn tired. Music in my ears. Listening to "Endings Without Stories" by Alesana :).

....SO,,
There was Chemistry, Poa and Art class. Didnt go for Chem, was lazy. But went to school at 10pm, for Poa.
*this morning, saw her, walking down the stairs.. the one next to the hall* haha :DD

O, i was the last to enter the class. But i felt great mann cos,, everyone was like.. "HEYY ! N!K !!" Hahah ! *CRAP !*

Poa class.. Um, FUCKING bored. -.-"
Art class,.. DAMN ! Everyone wasnt in the mood to do their prep work. Monday blues, i guess. Wahahah !

*this piece was recently drawn*. Hahah, all of my peers could guess the person perfectly. Brovo ! :DD.. Errm, who is it then ?? Haha.*

Ouhk..where am i just now ?? O.o?
Huhuu...
Keh, let's talk bout other stuff alright ?

Currently, my biceps is expanding, expanding and.. expanding ! Like what i wanted. Woahh ! Great !
My classmates could see the results. Love it ! Bodybuilding is in my DNA. Thank God, cos my dad used to be intrested in that too. *but still, i must be humble horr* hah ! Mamon/Craig bile biceps kaw nk keras dokk ?? Wahahah ! Kidding :DD

BlupBlupBlup..

O, i've come out with an another short poem when i was in the bus, on my way home, just now. Dont know what to title it. Um, anyways, it went like this....*random*

Screaming on the inside
My mind is in constant pain.

Needles pushed through my skull
It's driving ME insane !

I feel the SORROW of this world even in your laugh
It's tuggling the hooks in my HEART
Life FALLS away by half.

Sometimes, the sun comes out
Through its still seems to rain
It's how i felt all the time
Like the sun
I smile in VAIN.. (:

2009-06-08T02:10:00.000-07:00

2009-06-05T03:08:00.000-07:00

Alright..i was from the gym just now :).. Went alone. Cos i've asked Craig to go but he wasnt free. And thought that Eric will be there at the gym too. But today, didnt see him around. Lol.

O, it's been weeks that i haven't been to the gym. Was busy with school and all that. Since the day i came back to school from suspensions that day, school end late. Fucking late !

Didnt have the time to hit the gym, jammimg and all those stuff.
Used to hit the gym, three to four times a week.. Alternate days. Which means, Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturdays.
But school's schedule is tight :((

Um.. Anyways, today..i had Geography and Social Studies class.

Geography starts at 8am. But was half an hour late. Hahah ! Geog class was fucking bored ! Crowniee and i couldnt cocentrate. -.-"

Stuffs that was thought for Geog,, went straight into the right ear but went out from the left ear. Hah ! As usual ah ! :DD
And class ends 15 minutes earlier. Yay ! Was free about an hour 45 minutes before the next class start. Which was Social Studies.

So, went out of school with Crowniee and accompany her to buy some buns at a bakery shop at tecky market. And then went back to school. Crowniee, is a RETARD ! Hahah ! "You make my toes laugh !" :D

O, then..we headed to the canteen for awhile..
Uhh ! By the way.. I think today was Crowniee's lucky day cos.. Mrs Foo, noticed a packet of cigarettes in her FRONT pocket but ignored it. Haha !

Nasib kaw, Crowniee.. Kalo tk, kaw dh kene cm aku. Wahahah !

O, and when we wanted to head back to class. Hahah !
Was lazy to climb the stairs, back to the 5th story and thought of taking the lift up to class.
Hah ! Then just when the lift's door open, we didnt know Om was in there. Terkejot uh but lucky Om..didnt know that we planned to take the lift. Hahah !

Headed to class by lift and then headed straight to Ava room, to have our Social Studies class..
StudyStudyStudy. ends at 12.30pm. Finallyy.. !

After that.. Crowniee, Craig and i left school. Headed to block 3, i guess. Then, Nad, Susan, Ayumie, Wani, joined us. Hahah ! Ouh, went to accompany Crowniee to buy something..something..something, at the nearby "mama shop".

Haha ! Crowniee gler ! :D. 20 divided by 5 pn lmbt nk kire ! Ape daa.

O, after lepak lepak.. Craig, Crowniee and i went straight home. The rest went to Nad's place to chill out for awhile i guess. Huhuu..

Then.. Then.. Hah ! Like that ah. Aiyaa, dont know what to blog about anymore lei..
That's all for today alright ? :)
Bye ! * Hugs. Kisses. And Misses*

2009-06-03T03:03:00.000-07:00

BOO ! hahah !
Gonna start this with a short poem :).. It's random by the way.

Do you remember me
Your name is written in blood
On my heart.
Youll always be my angel
Even screaming from the depths of hell, i'll love you.
The black rose you've gave me,
Has wilted and died
But i still care for you
My sweet nightmare.

Hah ! That's all.

O, well..this is mini me. Hahk ! Little moron ! :DD

Um alright..Back to track. Hah !
Today, was like the same as yesterday. Nothing much. Had classes. For Mrs Foo's class (social studies) we were dismissed 15 minutes earlier. Hahah ! Baek uh.

During, art class..GEREKK.
That time..all of us was busy doing our art. I was feeling super super hungry uh and couldnt concentrate on my art. And at the same time..Ms Ang, errm..dont know go where.

So,, like what nana called me uh. "Devil" among the rest. Haha. Um, i sneaked to the back of the art room and reached out for biscuits and milo. Yum !

I took a handfull of biscuts and made hot milo for myself. Everyone then, gave me that look. Like.."WTF is Nik doing !?? Those stuff is supposed to be for the teachers mann !! Only for the staff." O.O"

*spit*
SO !??
LIKE I GIVE A FUCK ?
NO !!
I DON'T GIVE A FUCK MANN !
You guys should know by now. i don't follow rules and regulations ! I dont give a fuck about anything. That's me. Dislike ? F.U.C.K O.F.F !

So, my little morons followed. Hahah ! O, first was AJ followed by, Pam.. Then, Afiq and Harith.. Hahak !
Makan makan. Ngah adr party laa knn.. Huhuu..

While everyone was enjoying their snacks.. Ms Ang came back. Hah ! All terkejot berok laa sakk. Sume gabrah. Hahah !
Lucky, i've finished it all already before Ms Ang came back to the art room. *evil* huhuu..

Anyways..um, i think, that's all for today keh :)
Got to go people ! Rock on ! \m/
(you'remissed.really.)

2009-06-02T01:51:00.001-07:00

Heyy ! Here i am again :)
Now it's june holiday. But still, i have classes to attend.

Today, i had social studies and art class..
Was lazy to go but had to cos..im not gonna waste anymore time doing stupid stuff and all that..and gonna concentrate on my studies.

N' level is in less than 2 months time. Omg ! No more uh. Gonna stop all the shyt i've been doing. Huhuu..

Um, wasn't late for social studies class..just in time for that lesson :)) And, ohh.. Serious shit, I started to fall in love with....
Social studies !! Mann ! I love that subject ! Im gonna try my best to do well for that subject for all exams ! Seriously :DD

O..then we, (all 4G art studens) was 30 minutes late for art class. Supposed to start at 1pm. But we came at 1.30pm instead. Hah ! Thought, i was the only one who's gonna be late.. But pheww.. Lucky laa. And Ms Ang, mmm..almost gonna call up parents. Hahah ! Lame laa sey -.-".. Huhuu.

And Shit ! I've forgotten to bring along my stuffs for art. Can't draw anything. So,, Amir and i went to the library to check out the books that is related to the topic that we've choosen. Hahah !

When in the library...
We did some drawings and chit chatted about stuffs. Bout some personal stuffs too (imisssomeone.you?) :) AND O, we're trying to kill time too. Hah !
Amir was pissed with some of the malay girls in class.. O.o" no comment.

Then..at around 3.40pm, went back to art room. Kept looking at the clock.. Hah ! Nk baleq cpt uh.. -.-"

After art, headed back home and now.. Umm,, the bed, the pillow, the blankets.. Arrg ! it's calling me. Wanna sleep !! Huhuu..

Tomorrow, there's classes again. Great ! Have to catch up with my studies that i've missed cos of the suspension. Wahahah !

Keh uh, got to go okay ? :)
Thanks for viewing. Bye !
* Hugs. Kisses. And Misses *

**Oh, you know you are. To whom it may concerned : Stop all your FUCKING SHIT, WALKING FANKER, adr paham !??

2009-05-28T05:19:00.000-07:00

Weekends is coming ! Yayy !
Hah ! Um, tomorrow will be our last day of school. June holiday mahh.. But not looking forward to it cos, i'll be coming back to school for extra classes. And art class will be 5 hours straight during the school holidays ! Darn ! -.-""

Ouh, almost forget..today, was an awesome day ! Not including morning assembly. Hah !..

First period was, um..social studies. Gerekk.. Hahak, i answered all the "questions" that Mrs Foo asked. Hah ! But in an irritaiting way. Huhuu..

Second period was..umm, cant remember uhh.
BlahBlahBlah...

Then finally, it was recess..
Rushed down to canteen with Crownieee and Pam..
Crownieee asked me to accompany her to buy food at the malay stall cos she was afraid to get disturb by the sec 3 dudes..Sam and other guys ah.
That day, those groups of guys kept disturbing Crownieee. She got irritated and she threw her left over chin chaw jelly drink at the boys.

But unfortunately..the jelly landed on an indian girls who sat at the next table. Haha ! Kesian.
Hmm, then..Herman, i think..Chew ice and spit at Crownieee, i grab the cup that he's holding to and warned him to cut it out the shit that he's trying do. Hah !

2009-05-27T03:26:00.000-07:00

Yesss !! Today's Wednesday, which means...School ends at 1.30pm. Wahahah ! It's "CCA day" mahh.. Kahkah.

Not much going on today actually. Um, crownieee was absent from school and i was fucking bored in class ! OMG !
But at least, i paid attention during Mrs Foo class and it was..Social Studies lesson. Hah !

Now then i understand how to do those "writings" for Social Studies. Hahah !

Art class :
Umm, okay okay uh. Sat with pam to do the prep work. And omg ! As i said before, the final design will be done on a huge piece of canvas board..equals to : 4 pieces of A3 drawing paper ! Wtf ! How am i gonna paint the drawing on that huge surface ??

Huhuu.. -.-""

After art, was mathematics.. MDM MARY class. Hahah ! She was on MC, i guess and Miss Paul came to our class. Huhuu.. I slacked with my bros, Amir, Craig, AJ.

Then it was RECESS ! yayy !
Headed down to canteen with my guitar and Pam. Im always the entertainer during recess. Hahah ! *Bow* :)

English after that. We did our oral practice thingy. Hah ! Nothing much. And during Chemistry lesson..i was freaking sleepy. But tried my best not to fall asleep. Hah, cos i "stick toothpicks on my eyes". Wahahak ! Lame joke -.-"""

Anyways, after school.. I hangout with Nad, Susan, Pam and Wati.

Ouh, by the way..by the way,,
Hahah ! *evil*, i stole some of Eqaa picture from Susan's phone ! Hahah !

( for all pics, Left :Eqaa. Right :Susan )

2009-05-21T04:45:00.000-07:00

Hello ! Hello ! Hahah ! :)
Today, today, today..um, was a tiring day. Waited for Sarena at lot1 bus stop and went to school together. It's weird when, the day im supposed to go to school with Sarena, i'll not be late for school. But if i dont have to, i'll surely be late. Hahah.. Tomorrow, i'll surely be late cos her dad's gonna drive her to school..

Wahh ! "Choi choi, touch wood"..
Haha..guitar also can ah. It's made of wood jugak whatt. Hahah..

Anyways, in school i chit chat all day with Crownieee. Didnt pay attention in class. As usual. Hah !
Art, was quite relax. Just needa do my prep work for N' level thingy.. Cos my final design will be done on a huge piece of canvas. Hahah, "artist" mahh..

After art there's a short break. So went out of school with my other peers :)..
Then back to school, to have CME lesson -.-".. But form teacher was on MC..so,, nothing to do. I play the guitar. The teacher who went to our class didnt mind it. Wee !
End school at 3pm.. Headed back home and take a short nap..

And now, i going for my maths tuition. Oh, my..BORED !! Help !!
Hahah..

Tomorrow, there's a graduation photo taking thingy. Oh, my..oh my, im freaking excited mann !
Finally, the day has come. I've been waiting all my life, you know ! and i've been trying all sorts of hairstyles but couldnt decide any of it. Hahah. Help !!

Nevermind, i'll just be myself then. Be cool. As always.

Okay..that's all for today.. Byee !!

2009-05-20T02:29:00.000-07:00

Woahh ! Nik here laa. haha !
BOO !! Um, nothing much to blog about today. Ouh, before i forget.. Wanna thank Crownieee for doing my blog with all those stuff :)..
CROWNIEEE !! THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH !! Love you so much ! Hahah.

Anyways, today school was great. Nothing much uh.
Exams results.. Not Great ! :(
I get 72 for my Art. I think it's A2. But still not good enough laa.. Serious. I didnt sit for my malay paper so ZERO !..what a waste.
End school at around 1.30pm.
Go hang out with my peers for awhile then headed home..

Yesterday..
YESTERDAY !? Hmm.. Okay, there was tuition. Met Atiqah(Eqaa).. Woahh ! I wish, i have tuition everyday so that, i could meet her. Awww.. Psst, i've got a crush on her. Shhhh.. O, well i know her for two years already..

O, she's a friend of Dewi too..so,, if you(Dewi), happens to read this, keep it to yourself okay Dewi ? But good ah if you know. Bluek !Hahah !

O, back to yesterday's story..hahah !
Tuition was supposed to start at 7.30pm til 9.30pm.. But we always come at 8pm. Haha. Shhh..
Then after tuition, eqaa and i hang out kejap.. Arep(a new tuition guy who joined us) text eqaa and asked her to meet him.. But she doesnt want to cos, there is,, himself, Fahmi and another 3 guys. Arep kept asking to meet.. so eqaa asked me to accompany her as well. I did. And when we reached at their place. Eqaa sat with me. And the guys sat at another corner. Lol..

In between my conversation with Eqaa, Arep asked her to sit next to him. Eqaa was reluctant. And she looked at me and smiled, i looked at her and said go ahead and smiled..so she went to sit with Arep.
I was left alone with music in my ears. Suddenly, something strucked my head and make me remind bout the past. Ouh, i was afraid that history would repeat itself again. Haha, and at that time, was listening to "All Again for You by We The Kings".
Eqaa text me saying, "Oy ! Tkmo emo."
I turned my back and looked at her and noticed she stared at me and gave me that sweet smile.
She then asked me to sit next to her.. Haha. Like very odd uh, Arep was just next to her and i could sense that Arep wasnt that happy uh. Furthermore, i get layan-"ed" more than Arep did. Huhuu.. No comments bout it.

Ouh, so i cracked my stupid lame jokes and made her laughed. AND know what !? when i make her laugh, she'll always gave me that pinch on my biceps.. Hmpf, abis teros "angkong xiao" with all the blue-blacks.. Haha.

After a few minutes of lapaks, Eqaa wanna go off, so she told Arep, she going off soon. Haha. I made the first moved and she followed.

Board the lrt together. Just when i was about to alight at bukit panjang, Eqaa told me to send her till Cck. When i was bout to seat, haha. She laughed and pinched me AGAIN! and said it's okay. Haha..Geram ! Hahah.

For now, i just wanna keep this feeling towards her to myself..dont want her to know. Well, we just remain as friends :)).. Haha.
That's all for today yeah. Got to go..

O, btw to Sarena :
"F or your sake, i am sincerely willing to stop those puffs just so you will stop hurting yourself, by doing those slashing, okay ?
Really am :) take care sweet. *hugs* "

2009-05-20T01:21:00.000-07:00

Heylow humans !

Crownieee Biatch here !

Just completed editing Nik's blog & you can see the result , right ?

Okay till here , chiow !~

2009-05-14T20:15:00.000-07:00

Woahhh ! Im here back to blogging.. Haha.
Finally, exam are all over by now..pheww, dont have to sleep late and do those revision thingy.
How i did for the papers ? Hahah.. I screwed up every single paper of it !

Yesterday, was my oral. Both malay and english.
Garrgh, i think.. I did badly for my malay oral. I couldnt speak that well for malay.. Hahak, *kate jek melayu, tpi bobal hanco !* O.<"

Supp !!.. Today, im gonna jam at my guitarist place, Ant. At 2.30pm..Woah ! We gonna practise the all songs for our gig. Haha..
Great ! At last, we can jam uh.. Currently, there isn't any news bout our chill out gig. Arrgh !
.....

Anyways, our list of song that we gonna play :

..Check yes juliet *Ant*
..With me *Nik*
..All again for you *Nik*
..All these things i hate *Nik*
..Better luck next time, prince charming *Nik*
..Unintended *Ant*
..Cant take my eyes of you *Ant*
..Secret Valentine *Ant*
..Skyway Avenue *Ant*
..Trust *Ant*
Alright, that's all..
Huhuu..i got to go.. Bye !

2009-05-14T04:53:00.000-07:00

Woot ! Hello. Hello. Hello.. Hahah.. -.-"
Back to blogging.. garrgh !
Pheww, finally exams are all over by now.. Hahah. Dont have do those revision thingy and sleep fucking late anymore..

Umm..
My life has always been the same, from A-Z.. Hahah. Boring rightt ? I know.. I know.. I know.

Last Saturday, went out. Went for a date..uh, (blind date). Haha.
I get to know this girl from Mel. She forced me to date her. Argh.. Haha.
Ouhh.. Guess what !??
That girl, who's by the name of.. Aini. Hahah. And from Clementi Sec.. 16 years old. She's freaking sweet. Awww..
So..anyways, on that day, i waited mel and aini at Jurong mrt station at about, 1.45pm.

I was feeling so fucking nervous. My heart beat so fast. Like a bullet train. But cant compare to the one i met Zyn for the first time uh at Cck mrt station. Tu lagek dh mcm aeroplane. Hahak !
*Dupp..dapp..dupp..dapp.. There goes my heart. Mcm nk putos taw.

Anyways, when mel and aini finally arrived at Jurong station.. I tried to hide but they spotted me. Haha. Know what ?
Hmm..my heart stopped when i saw aini looked at me.
She looked exactly like Dina -.-" Gosh, i cant speak. Not even a, "Hi".. But i smiled at her..
Mel, went to imm to attend her job interview. So..left only me and her. I forced myself to say something and..guess what came out ? Haha..my stupid lame joke. Great ! She started to laugh.
BlahBlahBlah..
After introducing bout ourself.. I kinda began to warm up a lil' bit. Went to have our lunch.. Then walked around..
Um..nothing much uh. Then so on and forth. Dont want to say much bout it.
BlahBlahBlah..
Send her home. Just drop her at the mrt station where she live. Haha. Im bad. I know..

So..after that, me and mel meet up at west coast after her interview..
Hang out with our outside friends. Share out probs, secrets and do our usual thing ah.. Huhuu..

Slack until, almost 11.30pm plus..
Then, it's time for me to go off. Accompany mel to wait for the bus at bus stop and then.. I board the last train, i think..
Reached home at around 12.30pm..cant remember.
Text Aini for awhile and i knocked off..
Psst, i only text and called her for two days after we went for the date. Haha.. Dont wanna keep in touch with her anymore..cos when i listened to my heart..it says that im not happy..

Errm..wont tell why. -.O"

2009-04-24T00:55:00.000-07:00

Bahh !! haha ;D
There's alot to blog about. Don't know where to began... -.-"

Alright, let's talk my life then yeah ?
Mmmm... my life wonderful. Haha !
Mom and dad already know that i'm crooked.
Great ! Sooooo, it's not a secret anymore !
Yes, i am different for the rest of my other siblings.
Can't You See ?????

BlahBlahBlahhh.....

And again,
I got fine by the HSA...
Ouh, this is my 2nd time got caught. Fine 300 bucks.
Well, it's not really a big DEAL for me.
Today, i went to Tecky to meet OM and to show him the letters...
AND i'll be back in school next week, Monday !!
Great !! Can't wait. Really :))

After that, i went to the "pondok" and waited for my peeps.
They left school at about 1.15 plus. Phewww... it took me like forever waiting for them. haha..
Soooo,, we (Ayu, Nad, Susan, Afiq and I) went to Faiz place to slack for awhile :)
We did some crazy stuff there. Faiz cook for us too. Yummmy !!
Then...blahblahblah.. go home -.-"

(This is a song composed by me and my buddy, Eric)

Hold Me Tight, Don't Let Go:

(Verse 1)
I see your face, see your eyes
I see you smiling at me..
at me.

All these words deep inside,
My heart is screaming..
Screaming.

(Chorus)
I want you to know
That i still love you, i miss you
I want you to know
That i still love you, i miss you

All my life i've been waiting
For someone to fall for me...
For me.

(Chorus)
I want you to know
That i still love you, i miss you (x2)

Hold me tight, Don't let go (x2)

(Chorus)
I want you to know
That i still love you, i miss you
I want you to know
That i still love you, i miss you

I want you to know
That i still love you, i miss you
I want you to know
That i still love you, i miss you
I want you to know
That i still love you, i miss you
I want you to know
That i still love you, i miss you...

The End...
.................................................

(Ouhh ,, WAIT !! Before i end, I got this short poem :).. And it's random -.-
Title : I want )

I want to hold you and never let you go
Want to cling to you tightly
But you'll never know

Unspoken feelings, unnoticed looks
Unknown longing
That i must bury in books

I want you to be the one
The one whose always there
How can i convey this to you
When i dont even know if you care

Want to be with you always
And whisper sweet nothings into your ear
Want to be beside you always
And know that you are near

Sweet innocent looks
Lifelong friends
Cant tell you how i feel
In case our friendship ends

So when you read this dont judge
Theres no deceit in between
My love is always here for you
Even if my feelings cant be seen.

2009-04-16T02:42:00.000-07:00

Woahh ! Today, mm..lets not talk bout today first, shall we ?
Lets talk bout yesterday...
Mmm.. Wake up at 11 plus. Bathe, play the guitar and off to school. I sneaked to get in the freaking school. Shhh.. Haha ! Wani, ayu and dewi fetched me. Pheww.. Haha. Then went straight to art room. Well, i freaked out when Mr Adrian C. was in that room..haha. Then, i went into the lib to get some air con uh.. And !! Guess what !?? Bump into Ros ! Awww, she kept looking at me. But i was shy uh. Myo went to the comp lab instead. Aiyaa.. Teacher wasn't there. Haha ! Great !!
Got bullied..

2009-04-12T20:51:00.000-07:00

Dearest love,
I hope this message finds you well
as these endless thoughts drip from my soul
every single word secretly paints a fairytale
of when we will melt into one...

eyes forfeit sight to the pain
cold scalpel's steel whispers tear at my very core
as I cling to memories of you
I am so scared...so scared...I need you with me

were the last words that I wrote for you enough to tell you
that in my death the light that shone through my painful darkness
was a blinding vision of your eternal smile?

it's me again,
is it me or am I wrong to be concerned?
will the beauty of your pen ever cross my eyes again?
was this all a lie? why?

were the last words that I wrote for you enough to tell you
that in my death the light that shone through my painful darkness
was a blinding vision of your eternal smile?

make it stop, make this pounding in my head stop
fill my lungs with air, give me one more day to make her dreams come true
she understands right? that I'm not coming back...
she understands right? that I'm not coming back...
make it stop, make the pounding stop
I'm not coming back, I'm not coming back, I'm not coming back...
I don't know what happened...who would have thought my life would end up like this?
I didn't mean to hurt her, not hurt her like this...I can't feel my legs
I can't feel my legs and I can't even cry...how could somebody die like this?

if my words ever reach you I'll assume you don't care
never knew that silence could cut so deep or that you could twist the blade
now I curse all of your beautiful lies..
I love you and goodbye...

were the last words that I wrote for you enough to tell you
that in my death the light that shone through my painful darkness
was a blinding vision of your eternal smile?

cold scalpel's steel whispers tear at my very core
as I cling to my memories of you.. (The Last Three Letters by Alesana)

2009-04-12T20:41:00.000-07:00

(Early Mourning by Alesana)

Last night I forgot how the sound your voice whispered sweet
Goodbyes, your eyes left to die
I'm alone too
I don't stand why

Why not one more night
one last kiss good bye
my sweet love tonight
I hope the stars still spell out your name where you are...

Kiss my closings eyes
Help me sleep without you I'm so lost
Tonight I cry
Tell me why
I can't live without your warm embrace

Why not one more night
one last kiss good bye
my sweet love tonight
I hope the stars still spell out your name where you are...

I close my eyes and you are everything I see
Goodbye

Goodbye to you my love
I will forget you
I'll see you soon
Goodbye my love
Goodbye to you my love
I will forget you
Let me live..

2009-04-12T02:01:00.000-07:00

(Say Goodnight- Bullet For My Valentine)

Heaven's waiting for you
Just close your eyes and say goodbye
Hearing your pulse go on and on and on

[Pre-Chorus]
I live my life in misery
I'd sacrifice this world to hold you
No breath left inside of me
Shattered glass keeps falling

[Chorus]
Say Goodnight
Just sleep tight
Say Goodnight

Flowers laid out for you
So many colors leave me blind
Seeing your face reflect from our babies eyes

[Pre-Chorus]
[Chorus]

[Interlude X2]
So here I am, you're inside of me
So here I am, our world is over

[Bridge]
Here I am with you
I'm there till the end
Memories are calling
So farewell my friend

[Guitar Break]
Farewell my friend...

[Bridge]

2009-04-12T01:52:00.000-07:00

(This is a song i made..
timing: about 3 minutes 26 seconds)

One by one,
the pieces are falling
and one by one,
the voices are calling
one by one,
there are screams in the night
and one by one,
each ones wil is losing the fight
one by one,
each ones secret encloses
and one by one,
everyones body decomposes
one by one,
their spirits are wandering
and one by one, theyre searching while pondering.

2009-04-08T21:02:00.001-07:00

DEAD BLOGG !!
Sorry guys.. Im really lazy to blog. Really am. -.-

Currently, my favourite song is :
Sweet Valentine by We The Kings.
It's a good song.. Listen to it ! Hahah !

Ooo by the way, i know that mom has been reading my blog. I wasn't surprised. I KNOW. And i really really don't like it, mom. I need some privacy. Just a little bit. This child of yours really need it. If you understand, that's good enough. Thank you mom :)

I got to go now.. Bye !!
Keep On Rocking !

2009-04-08T21:02:00.000-07:00

Alright.. First of all, I KNOW MY BLOG IS D.E.A.D !! Needa update something. I wasn't in school this few weeks cause.. I got suspended. Hahah ! GREAT !! -.-
People kept asking when am i gonna get back to school..
Well, i really don't know how long is my suspension.. Maybe, i'll be back in school next month.

2009-03-24T04:40:00.000-07:00

Hey, i will not be in school for mm.. I don't know how long. Im gonna miss my friends.. Bye !

2009-03-21T00:09:00.000-07:00

heyy ! Im actually outside right now.. Somewhere at Dowtown East. Haha. Using my phone to update this. Mendak sak. Now pat coffee shop ngah nk mam. Supp, my dad ngah angry cz i kept on texting something. Haix, padahal padahal ehk..

19th March was my... 17th birthday.. Didn't really celebrate it. Haha.. Mm, went to meet Zyn!! for awhile to pass her my camera cause she needed it for her class chalet, i guess. Haha..i didn't expect any present. Haha. But thank you so much for the famous amos heart shaped cookie ! I love it so damn much. Sweet :).. Then i went to meet up with my friends..
Go here go there.. Then malam we lepak. Balek at around 10pm plus. Feeling real exhausted..

Knocked off at 11 something..
Err, okay thats all arh..
O and to everyone who has celebrated and wished me those birthday wishes..and also the presents.. Haha, thank you so very much. Really appreaciated it :)..

2009-03-17T23:24:00.000-07:00

Photos of what happened in my life. Enough to tell what happened, okay!?? i'm lazy to blog every single stuffs. Lazy!!

2009, 4 Gallucci!!! :))

I want my peace,
I want control,
I want my mind,
I want my soul.

I need to wakeup,
And smile at the sun,
I need to be alive,
I need to stop the run.

I don't want to cry,
At the thought of reality,
All I want is peace,
and the end of brutality.

I need to reach my happy days,
I need the saddness to die,
I need to love who I am,
I need to not cry.

I'll be happy someday,
I'll find it someway,
But until then,
I'll be hoping,
For my tomorrow after my today.

2009-03-17T22:44:00.000-07:00

HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey! i'm back blogging guys :)
Uhhh, there's soooooooo much to blog about. Really, soooo much and i don't know where to began. HAHA!

Okayyy...let's start on the 13th. Friday. We, the level 4s went for our learning journey. I had so much fun! That day school wasn't that great. Everyone seems to be sooooo freaking restless. End school at 12.30pm, and then i headed back home to get change. Had my shower. Put on my PE attire and snow cap... Didn't have enough to take my lunch :((,.. *CrukCruk*

RushRushRushRushRush...
Waited for Wani at the bp bus interchange, at around 1.55pm plus. She was late. Thought i was the one who was going to be late -.-"". Lol. But i didn't :))
Boarded the bus and we alight at the "mama shop". Ayumi and Crownieee was already there. Crownieee and i went to buy something first. HAHA! Then after buying that stuff, we went to block 5 to take a puff... Pheeew!!

Damn! We were supposed to be in school at 2.30pm and it was already 2.30 plus plus plus!! Guess everyone had boarded the bus ah. Crownieee and i ran like xiao. HAHAHAHA!

I HAD A VERY NASTY FALL. Booo-Hooo. Actually, i was trying to jump over this railing but i guess i wrongly estimated how high i should lift up my fucking legs, so sadly, my right leg hit the railing and.... WHAMPPP!! It was nasty. Very very nasty :((. From the scars, ouuuhh. Very painful. Luckily, Crownieee was there to help. Awwwwww :DD..

2009-03-04T21:12:00.000-08:00

(this is like, really random and suckish..but its mixed feelings of whats running through my mind that i had to let out)

I am dying to be
what your wanting to see
but every breath i take
is just another mistake
in the cruel eyes of you
&&im no longer sure what to do

you filled me with hate
beat me in your insanity
no one can relate
to this pain that you gave me

and sinse your breakdown
ive seen the world differently
ways to cope are what ive found
things i do out of anger and stupidity

pop a bunch of pills, take them all.
slit my wrists or punch a wall
maybe even get really high
id rather die than have you see me cry

when will other people realize
the pointless-ness to our lives
we were all built upon hurtful lies
we'll be miserable until we die..

2009-02-23T00:14:00.000-08:00

Fragmented memories....

You're on a journey,
God bless your luck,
You're out there living your life,
I hope you find what you're looking for,
Because I was looking for you,
But now you've left me all alone.

All that's left of us is
The fragmented memories,
But you won't even remember me,
Because there's only fragmented memories,
That only I'll remember.

I'm erased from your mind,
God bless you,
I hope you don't want me back,
Because you can't ever find me again,
Because I was looking for you,
But now you've left me all alone.

All that's left of us is
The fragmented memories,
But you won't even remember me,
Because there's only fragmented memories,
That only I'll remember.

What we had used to be whole,
But after that first lie,
I knew the shattered pieces
Would never be whole again.

All that's left of us is
The fragmented memories,
But you won't even remember me,
Because there's only fragmented memories,
That only I'll remember.

2009-02-17T03:44:00.000-08:00

Hahaha !!! Errr, it's full of SHIT !!

Out Of Boundries:

~ Ant : Vocals/Guitar
~ JJ : Guitar
~ Nik : Bass/Backing Vocals
~ Faris : Drums

2009-02-11T20:18:00.000-08:00

Valentine's Day is coming :).Yay! Haha. Today school was great. We got high, yesterday and today. Cool! We took "L.G". Ohh, yesterday,
Valentine Smile

On Valentine's Day we think of those
Who make our lives worthwhile,
Those gracious, friendly people who
We think of with a smile.

I am fortunate to know you,
That's why I want to say,
To a rare and special person:
Happy Valentine's Day!

2009-02-06T01:54:00.000-08:00

As I sit here alone I wonder if you moved on.
As I sit here alone I wonder if you cried.
As I sit here alone I wonder if you found someone else.
As I sit here alone I wonder if you felt the same way I did.
As I sit here alone I wonder if I still love you.

As I sit here alone I try not to cry.
As I sit here alone I try to tell myself that’s okay.
As I sit here alone I try to not text you.
As I sit here alone I try not to call you.
As I sit here alone I try to be strong.
As I sit here alone I try to get over you.

As I sit here alone I think about the laughs we had.
As I sit here alone I think about the talks we had.
As I sit here alone I think about how I hurt you.
As I sit here alone I think about the pain I put you though.
As I sit here alone I think about if you know the pain I went though.
As I sit here alone I think about the love I still have for you.

THERE IS MORE TO ME THEN YOU WOULD EVER KNOW!
Some people cant treat me right and i got them out of my life!
You got to love yourself at some time in life!

2009-01-24T03:05:00.000-08:00

I tried to tell you I love you
but the words were hard to find.

I'm always thinking about you
you're the only one on my mind.

Oh why do I act so shy forever hiding my face
I should learn to laugh and not to cry put yourself in my place.

There were times I tried to kiss you but something told me no.
You wanted me to hold you but I

kept letting you go.
I'm afraid that I am not the "guy"

you've searched for all these years.
I will kindly leave now don't you cry

try to hold back your tears.
It's been so long I haven't seen you

for quite awhile
When I think of how we me met it only

brings back your smile.
I remember when I held you then and

told you we'd never part
I loved you then I love you now and

I'll hold you in my heart.

2009-01-22T22:47:00.001-08:00

This lie's become a part of me
For months, I've played this game
Acting like it doesn't hurt
Each time I hear her name

Ignoring what's inside of me
Pretending I've moved on
As if the feelings I once had
For her are somehow gone

Spending each and every day
With happiness and laughs
Forgetting all our memories
Avoiding photographs

But last night when I saw her
For the first time since she left
My heart stopped for a moment...
I couldn't catch my breath

When suddenly it hit me
As the tears started to flow
That even after all this time...
I just can't let her go

2009-01-22T22:10:00.000-08:00

"This lie's become a part of me
For months, I've played this game
Acting like it doesn't hurt
Each time I hear her name

Ignoring what's inside of me
Pretending I've moved on
As if the feelings I once had
For her are somehow gone

Spending each and every day
With happiness and laughs
Forgetting all our memories
Avoiding photographs

But last night when I saw her
For the first time since she left
My heart stopped for a moment...
I couldn't catch my breath

When suddenly it hit me
As the tears started to flow
That even after all this time...
I just can't let her go..."

it's been so many years
since we last talked
and finaly we meet again
lets take a midnight walk

so many things
i'd like to say to you
don't know where to begin
but i feel this is true

your mean the world to me
hard to belive, i know
but i'll never let you down
please,let your feelings show

i have no idea
how you fell about me
i hope someday soon
you'll realy let me see

day after day i wonder
if you'd ever let me be yours again
just give me one last chance
i'd do anything for you to say you can

2009-01-22T03:05:00.000-08:00

Whooo !! Today, school was great. haha ! I keep on laughing throughout the day in school.
My friends said that i'm retarded. Yup, that's who i am people...Thanks peeps for understanding me !

PE lesson was absolutely crazy and at the same time tiring -.-...
Mr. Aidil asked us to do four sets of sprinting. Whoaa, i love it so much ;)
English lesson was great. As always...
Ouhh, Mrs. Teo has promised to treat us, 4G, pizza !!
Yeyyy!! Can't wait for tomorrow..
hahaaaa! Cause of the pizza lahh!

During art lesson, i acted like a retard. Make my friends laugh at my stupid jokes :)...
Psssst, Ms. Ang will look more "cuter" when she smile, well, if she didn't and was angry... Her face looks exactly like a BULLDOG!! hahaha! ehh, but it's true, you know.
kay, don't wanna badmouthing bout her too much. sikit sikit bley. tee-heee..

Break for 30 minutes... Go block 5. As usual... back to school a taround 2 plus. haha.
Then poa lesson till 3... hmpff~. Feeling so fucking tired.
Stayedback in school for a short while, to do some class decoration. NOOB !!
Left the school ataround 4.30pm.
Later, i'm going for my tuition till 9.30pm. Gosh ! :((

Tomorrow, Cny celebration in school. wtf! Noob!

Kay, that's all. Byee ;D *kisses*

" a heart that i could borrow"

do you have a heart that i could borrow?

one that isn't drained?

one that isn't shattered?

one that isn't shamed?

one that hasn't been let down one that isn't torn?

one that isn't tattered?

one that isn't worn?

could i use it for a while?

could i trade you for a day?

could you hold mine for a moment

and take all the pain away?

2009-01-21T00:12:00.000-08:00

"dont call me baby"

tell me that youll be here

i dont wanna hear maybe

if youre gonna run away from me

dont call me baby

tell me that youre gonna stay

i dont wanna go crazy

if youre gonna leave me

dont call me baby

tell me that youre loyal

i dont wanna keep fading

if youre gonna hide from me

dont call me baby

tell me that you wont be gone

i dont wanna hear maybe

if youre gonna lie to me

dont call me baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-01-20T23:11:00.000-08:00

Whoo Everyone is In!

*Diena, *Susan, Faiz, Baz, *Pam, Nad, Izen...

Jermine, Michelle & *Nik ;)

*Craig , Afiq, Hadzril, Faiz...

*Nik, *Pam, *Wanie, Nad, *Ayumi & *Susan.

Boo !! Haha, nothing much to blog about today.. Boring !!!

. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA !!!

. Sorry, i'm crappy :)

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School was okay okay uhh. Maths lesson.... mendak nak mampos ! Didn't understand the topic that Mdm Mary had taught. Wtf ! Umm, yeyy. Tomorrow there is PE lesson. Great! Can't wait for tomorrow...

. Bluuppp~. Kay uhh that's all. Got to go !!

My adorable 4G darlinks ;0

Izen, Faiz, Pam, Me & Nad :)

2009-01-19T23:17:00.000-08:00

Hey, sorry, haven't been blogging..
Yeasterday, i skipped maths lesson. Only attend her lesson for 30 minutes, tee-heehee :). Me, Jermine and Nadia went to the canteen and bought some food during the lower sec recess then school ended at 12.30pm. BEST! After that, my members and i, lepak at block 5. Pheww~ took a puff at last. Cannot tahan already lei. haha :).. Ouhh, something disgusting happend to me after the rest of the members left that place and left only...Pam, me, izen, michelle. Well, errrm~~.. nahh, reluctant to tell uhh.
Hmpf! Kimak!!! Was so fucking disgusted by that fucking old man who. "tk tao yang dier tu dh tua, lagek nk mengurat. Kimak!! sot sak otak!!"

Skip, skip, skip...
We left block 5 and tahen i met up with my sis, Mel :)
Rindu ko sangat sangat tao dok.
I accompanied mel to JP. I applied for a job too at "COOL". Cool! haha, crap -.-
Reached home at around 8pm and then i went to meet up with my family at lot 1 to had our dinner ;0...
I miss you**

Skip, skip, skip...

Today....
There is nothing much going on today. School was quite okay uhh.
I was late for school today..Twice! Haha :)

C&M lesson was fun. Super super fun. Miss Ms Toh's class so much actually. O, i miss ROY DIBIE the most!
Maths lesson was next, arrgh... was mendak to the core but managed to follow what Mdm Mary had taught us.
English lesson was cool ;). Mrs Teo was indeed a cool lady too, haha. I love her lesson.
Recess.. was as usual.
Malay lesson was gler!
Assembly, was bored...
Break for 30 mins. Go block 5 again. Meet memebers lah sak.
Art lesson was next. 2 hours. Bored...

Okey dokey, time to go peeps! That's all :)
Thanks for reading and viewing my fucking crap blog :))

2009-01-01T21:49:00.000-08:00

Hey! I'm back!!
Happy Fucking New Year!!
Today's the first day of school. Great! Great! Great!
I miss all of my dearly friends, haha, especially Pamela Kok Hui Wen!! haha! Pssst, she's cuuuuuuutttttteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~~~!! Ouh, but too bad, she's taken uhh. haha! Crap!
Maybe later, i'm gonna hit the gym. haha :)
Ouhh, okay, that's all uhh... Pssst, I love **you, or should i phrase it, umm i miss you instead. haha!

Reasons, WHY i love you:-

~I can be myself when I am with you. Betul Betul Betul.
~Your idea of romance is dimlights, softmusic, and just the two of us..haha!
~Because you make me feel like,like, like I have never felt before.
~I can tell you anything, and you won't be shocked. >,< ~Your undying faith is what keeps the flame out of love alive ~You and me together, we can make magic. Awwww..

~We're a perfect match..haha, errm guess so.
~Thinking of you, fills me with a wonderful feeling.. always.
~Your love gives me the feeling, that the best is still ahead.
~You never give up on me, and that's what keeps me going.
~You are simply irresistible

~I love you because you bring the best out of me.
~Your terrific sense of humor
~Everytime I look at you, my heart misses a beat.
~You're the one who holds the key to my heart
~You always say what I need to hear (You are perfect)..
~You have taught me the true meaning of love. Really..

Well, love is,

what you mean to me - and you mean everything.
You are my theme for a dream.
I have had the time of my life and I owe it all to you.
When I look into your eyes, I can see your heart.
Your love for me is a natural anti-depressant.
I love to hear your voice.

I miss you....

~Your love has helped me to rediscover myself.
~Your love is an effective anti-dote to despair. I'm addicted to it!!
~I love to wake up with you by my side...It makes my days better.
~You always make me feel that you are by my side no matter what.
~I love that feeling of being secure when you wrap your arms around me.
~I love the way you keep your cool when I do something stupid.. Errrm, haha!
~Just being with you feels like I can defy the whole world. O.O'"
~I like your small gestures that speak volumes about how much you care.
~I love the way you treasure the gifts that I gave you.. i hope so :)

And, of-course, You mean the world to me.

2008-12-29T22:29:00.000-08:00

Hi, i'm back!! Sorry, was "fucking" busy...

I've been going to the gym It was fun, Eric accompany me there too.

I concentrate more on my upper body, especially my chest, arms..haha, okey. Enough!

Anyways, I've a poem. A very short one. Read it up, I hope you like it yeah, peeps :)...

i found you

i love you

but your not what my parents want

my lover is a girl and so am I

my parents want me to be straight

but i have to be who i am

i've been wondering why i'm here

why be put in a world

that no one wants to change a world

that everyone can see is fucking up

wishing for someone to change it

instead of trying to change it themselves

taking a challenge thats why i have to hide you

so i can hide with everyone else

but now i see it's not doing anything

i won't change the world

but i can show others

how it's possible

I love you, *****

2008-11-16T23:51:00.000-08:00

Every wish becomes a curse

Every curse becomes a blessing...

Im your forgotten dream,

broken and unseen....

My gun to your head, your knife to my neck....our last words...iloveyou
Slash your wrist, your just wishing you'll miss.
I sit alone in my corner, all I need is my guitar and i'll survive....
iloveyou no matter what, no matter how much it hurts, I'll always spill my heart out for you.
would you miss me when I'm gone? .....

Listen To :

"Where We Started" by Eyes Set To kill

It's a great song :)

2008-11-13T01:52:00.000-08:00

Why?

Why does my heart kept on beating
Why does my lungs kept on breathing
And why does my mind kept on remembering .....
The happy days that we had,
and the joy that it brings I don't know exactly why

You said those bitter words goodbye
And that is the reason why
My body and soul slowly dies

My heart is full of agony
And my lips only speaks irony
Because I always say you're just nothing to me
But the real thing was you mean everything to me
I don't know how to start

Because I'm torn apart
And I don't know where to go
Because the ghost of you always follow

My mind is lyng
My heart is aching
My eyes kept on crying
And my soul is slowly dying
So why does the birds go on singing
Why does the leaves kept on falling
And why does the trees kept on swaying
Don't they know that I'm here,
desperately dying....

2008-11-05T01:22:00.000-08:00

Hmmmmm......

My complex thoughts and emotional anxiety can be explained with such a simple word.

you ..

A deep emotion, love, has intervened with my life.

"Love", it's the strongest of all emotions. It causes such beauty and warmth while embraced, yet when neglected it causes pain and suffering.

Why does the one emotion that has the effect of creating such beauty neglect me?

Will you listen to this sad rockstar's plea, I beg you search for a sign; a glimpse of hope, that something between us is still possible. Surely there's a way to redeem myself so that we may be together?

No, there's no redemption from here. And so, in my sorrow, I turn to the one thing that heals my angst filled heart. The precious moments we shared together. And as I reflect, I cannot help but to be blinded by your beauty, one that emits a glow, the very glow that reflects on my hurting heart; a form of healing. Though, the thoughts that heal my heart result in reminding me of the agony I'm trying to escape from.

I am stuck in vicious circle.

I have nowhere to turn.

I pray that you be with me; quench my eternal thirst with your presence. I cannot go on much further without you…

2008-11-05T00:33:00.002-08:00

Nature's Love :)

Ahh! Caught!

2008-10-22T00:42:00.000-07:00

*School was "gerek"... Haha!

Fantasy. its something f a k e
something un-real
what we dream
what we imagine
what isn't there.
what is a lie.
to our imagination y o u for example..

Another song by me... i'm freaking bored right now.. Hope you enjoy ;)

At Pain Ends:

The blissful tears still linger
in a home broken and shattered
the tears were always there
and the scars would never fade

with the draining of her blood
she thinks that she can stop the tears that fall
she grows close to her goal when she sees
something like a movie, and in it she sees
her mother kneeling before a grave,
her father hanging from the rafters,
and the only one who she had ever truly loved flying through the air

she sees then that she would just bring more blissful tears
stumbling she tries to stop the bleeding
crying her blissful tears, she does the only thing she can
and calls for help, but her home is a broken home and none hear her cries

2008-10-21T23:51:00.000-07:00

HAHA! That's me ;).. Thanks Pam for editting it too. *Smiles*

This is sweetheart ;) *Hugs*