Thursday, February 11, 2010
{ 8:44 AM }
If a kiss was a raindrop i'd send u showers.if a hug was a second i'd send u hours.if a
smile was water i'd send u a sea.if love was a person i'd send u me!
Don't Count Me In For Love. I gave Up.Valentine's Day is just 2 to 3 days to come , yet this heart of mine is been torn again.
I kept asking this question to myself , over and over again but still couldn't answer it.
The question that goes like this , "Why should i tell that person how i feel about her. We confessed it to each other but now everything falls apart. Why ?" Why now then , the feelings towards that someone you like fades ? Why now things aren't in a good term ? Why hadn't we been talking like what we used to ?
Sending her to her door step a Valentine's Gift as she said that she wasn't feeling well today. A love letter and a small heart shaped cookie was what i gave. Nothing much , but i do hope that she appreciate it. Maybe i guess this is the first and will be the last gift i ever gave her. And will not be seeing her again as that is what i think she wanted.
It's quite random having to see "butch" like "butch" that kinda thing. But it doesn't matter.
She's blind. Blind as in , she couldn't see the fact that the person who really adores , love and care about her so much has always been standing right in front her all this while. Trying to be there for her when she needed someone to talk to. But now , her heart change.
say you love me , like you mean it.I thought , this year's Valentine's Day i could have the chance to celebrate together with her.
Fated ; aren't meant to be i guess.I still remember you saying to me when i was there by your side when you were admitted in the hospital that day...
"Nik , if you have that feelings towards me , just said so. Don't have to hide it away from me. Just give me time to change back into a girl". Tell me , if you're shy to tell me then you better start showing me all the things that you love me. Example , show me you care and that will be enough okay Nik.In the club , you whispered in my ears..
"U, u jangan gatal gatal tau". (Make sure , you don't flirt around okay ?)That was when , i started to get serious about you. Wanting to sacrificed myself to wait for you and i'd listen to you cause that's when my feelings grew stronger.
When something happened between you and your ex girlfriend. You wanted to commite suicide at around 4/5 AM plus at Yew tee estate. Trying to jump down from a building at the 13th floor.. Who was the one who grab you at the edge of the railling ? Me. Yes , it was me. Why ? Cause my dear sweetheart , i do love you. So much so , that i couldn't bear to see you ending your life away just like. You mean a lot to me. So much. I just love who you are. You mean the world to me.
And now the story goes like this ,
I fall to my knees. Smashed to the ground. Don't ever try to count on me for love. I gave up. Everything.(Definition of love ; To live and experience , To learn and grow , and to feel "all" the highs and th low - Nik Aiman Vacious)
My Lover. My Life. My Shorty. My Wife.
say you love me , like you mean it.