Friday, May 30, 2008
{ 12:27 AM }
This Is Me
My Identity
If You Dont Like It You Can Leave
If You Dont Like It
You Dont Like Me,,
A Scar On My Wrist
Knowing I've Never Been Kissed
My Studded Belt
And My Heart Un-Felt
Im The Loner
Always In The Corner,,
Yet This Is My Identity
If You Dont Like It
You Wont Like Me.. Been lookin back at pictures,
and looking at myself now.
One moment I had the world at my feet,
and next im looking around saying wow.
One minute laughing and goofing around,
the next crying by myself in the nut house.
Everyday when I open my eyes,
I ask myself one question.
Where the fuck did my smile go?
My face has lost so much complexion.
Will my smile ever come back from inside?
Who knows only time will tell.
I have thrown "3 years" of my life away,
that someone in need could have had and lived it well.
I feel my whole world has shut down,
cuz i feel i cant smile again.
I act the way people want me to act,
but inside im burning up in flames.
Being thrown out of society from my depression,
is really the last thing i need.
I've already experienced that in the past,
and believe me, it was everything but pretty.
"Valentines day" is coming,
and here i stand alone.
Dont even expect me to smile on that day,
not even my teeth will show.
I will try to battle this shit as i am already worn out,
yet still keep on wondering,
where did my smile go?
Labels: I've already experienced that in the past...
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
{ 11:37 PM }
ME. ME. ME. ME!!
That stupid little girl....
I hate myself!
Im confused with everything!
Its all messed up!
Everyday i woke up, there's nothing's new...
Everytime i close my eyes, i see red...
Everything i do, its useless...
So i better off DEAD!!
I SIT IN THE CORNER OF A VERY DARK ROOM
I WAIT THERE FOR YOU TO COME BUT YOU NEVER DO
I FIND MYSELF CRYING ALONE
I GET UP TO GET OUT BUT THERE IS NO WHERE TO GO
I TRY AND FIND A PLACE TO GO BUT THERE IS NO WHERE TO GO
I FALL TO THE GROUND LOOKING AT THE SCARS OF MY LIFE
NOW I'M STILL SITTING IN THE CORNER WAITING FOR YOU
Labels: I don't love myself...just take me away..
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
{ 11:34 PM }
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________+++++++8888888888________Labels: Keep Rocking Thats All...haha...
Monday, May 19, 2008
{ 11:44 PM }
I FEEL LIKE SHIT!!!!!!! Swallowed whole nothing more than broken bones in the body of the girl who has no soul. Watch us crawl up the walls keeping us here. Watch us bleed even more over the years. We tried to kill what made us ill and take away all the hate that made the girl want to feel no more pain. Love the shame that still remains in between. Breathe the air no one cared to ever believe. We are medicated, full of hatered. trying to die cuz we can't take it.You know what you shattered. How come i never mattered?
(Missing You, Babe It's True)
Missing you so much
Wanting to feel your touch
Wanting to be in your arms
Can't take it anymore
I surrender to your charms
Starting to feel so anxious
Because I don't have you
I try to rise up from this period of blue
If I can't have you
Then I shall be worthless
If I can't have you
Then I shall cut until I feel no pain
Shall cut until I feel no hurt
No misery
I miss you
I want your touch
I want to be the reason for your smile
Am I so selfish as to want you to be mine?
Forever and for all eternity
Labels: My heart feels used by the best. And broke by the worst. Numbing the pain for a while only makes it worse when you finally feel it.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
{ 3:06 AM }
Today, i went for my NEURO thing...Wahh,i am tired and i miss him too much already...
Actually there's nothing much going on today. Tomorrow's going to a holiday, that will be great..
Eeermm, i wish to find a day that i could ...umm spent the whole day with him, catch the latest movie, mmm well just chill out together. That's what i planned to do that day on the
10.05.08...A day after his birthday..i have planned for everything well but it doesn't turn out that way because he's got something much more important stuff to do so i tried to be more understandng, and yeahh the date has been CANCELLED! -.-...
Never mind,it's okay, it's alright...
Well, to my peeps out there..hehe, i miss you all already,especially my "CHIPMUNKS CHICKS".."Alvin" & "Simon"! i wish, we could be together like what we used to be...Eventhough i don't talk to them in school...They will always be my besties!
To eric(Haziq), you are still the coolest dude ever! haha =D And to my sayang... I miss you, and i love u a million red m&ms... *cuddles & smooches*
Labels: As we grew older, things change but it doens't have to end.
Friday, May 16, 2008
{ 12:59 AM }
I wish for one moment in my life,
Gravity never learned to pull water from my eyes,
So atleast for just one moment when I'm in great pain,
I wouldn't need to cry. Why does it always hurt,
when life gives you a bad call?
why does it hurt,
when you've had a bad fall?
why does it hurt,
when people call you bad names?
why does it hurt,
when guys think of love as just a game?
why does it hurt,
when a loved one dies?
why does it hurt,
when you feel like you've been living a lie?
why does it hurt,
when someone betrays your trust?
why does it hurt,
when you feel your love life is dust?
why does it hurt,
when your own family abuses you?
why does it hurt,
when it seems like dreams can never come true?
why does it hurt,
when you just dont know what to do?
why does it hurt,
when you feel that life is drowning you?
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Friends, Friends, Friends..
Friendship
It starts as just talking
Friends use trust to become stronger
They always say pinkie swear
Some people just lay back and let true friends fade
Most people try to make relationships work
What is this
Are you fading too
I've done nothing
I could offer you anything
Friends are forever boys are whatever
Lies are decietful
Why did you do this to me
I trusted you with my life
You crushed it
Are you seriously just that jealous
Or are you just that low
Is it that I'm gorgeous
Or is it because your slow
Am I the person you wish you could be
Or is this just your life and your not who you want to be
I've held it in all this time
All the things that you've done to me
You've said so much crap
Never have I done a thing
Never have I said a word
You could really trust me
Why did I trust you
I must be insane to say your still my best friend
When all you do is take a knife to my back and make me bleed
So deep to the heart friendship hurts
Boys are usually the problem now it's you
I still love you my best friend through it all.
Haiz, I think i'm all stressed-out with some stupid little problems... With school, friends, everyone! I know being teenager...sucks! All this really pissed me off!
Why can't i just dissapear for a day and say goodbye to this hell..
Labels: it hurts cause whatever we do, we are human beings.
Monday, May 12, 2008
{ 1:15 AM }
Pictures of my dumbass friends...PUNKS NOT DEAD!
Poem...
She Sits In A Corner Miles Away From Him.
Dreaming Of Seeing Each Other, Desperately.
Cold Tears Run Down Every Night Before Its Time To Sleep.
Hoping That Their Dreams Will Be Sweet And Happy.
Not Bitter And Sad.
Not Knowing How The Other Feels.
Just Thinking About What’s Happening Them.
Depression, Solitude, And Isolation Is At Their Heart.
“It’ll End Soon In Happiness.”
She Cries.
Labels: Say It Aint So. I Will Not GoTurn The Lights Off. Carry Me Home.
My Lover. My Life. My Shorty. My Wife.
